today's guest is a stand-up comedian uh
he's a podcaster he's an actor he has a
new film called let's start a cult that
he both co-wrote and starred in uh he's
got his own podcast stav's world and
he's one of the hottest young comics in
America um I'm grateful for his time
today um I'm grateful for his honesty
always uh no one else I'd rather be
sitting down with than Mr stavos Halas
I know
me and I will find a song I will
[Applause]
sing hey hey Whoa man wow man good to
see yeah you look so slick huh thanks
man yeah going with a slick back
wow you like it bro yeah little
aerodynamic looks very I'm trying to
think of what it even makes me feel like
I love it explore that bro like a
principal maybe yeah maybe principal at
a very unique
school we don't give grades man yeah
yeah yeah yeah you don't give grades
there's um [ __ ] I need
some
socks dude I think it's a good look no
I got you can't throw ankles out dude
you can't I mean I feel homeless I
just I just felt some wind hit
him and my first thought was I've worked
too hard yeah yeah yeah sure sure sure I
got the thighs out I give out the whole
leg for free brother yeah but you have
good legs man thank you bro I appreciate
that yeah and do a lot of um people from
where you or your culture have good legs
huh I think so yeah I think so it's a
leg cuz even the pillers um yeah it's
like that's a part of it huh there's a
lot of Hills Greece is very
hilly I think people are The Hills Have
thighs
dude over there they really do I think
that helps yeah um cuz you see a man
like that it's like this is a structural
Man sound sound I am structurally sound
you're not shaking me you're not shaking
me no you won't you're not like that
Building 47 or whatever no no no no no
or whatever that is was it building
seven which one is it that keeps falling
down seven tower Tower seven Tower seven
yeah yeah the one that we can't exactly
explain or something yeah some guys like
oh it's a great time of just get Block
over to drop this
one like all right all right I see what
you're doing man wouldn't have happened
if it was made out of helenic marble
yeah out of some strong baklava some Bak
you can't shake baklava either oh as far
as desserts go very structurally sound
structurally sound you're right you're
right um stavos hos dude you have a new
uh movie the movie is uh H uh let's
start a c let's start a cult yes sir and
is it kind of your new movie is it kind
of like um is like what's the is it a 12
Years a Slave type of thing is it a like
a Lincoln Lawyer like what's the those
are your two references what's the AR of
it you know 12 Years a Slave which is
like a serious slavery drama that won
Oscars and The Lincoln Lawyer just a
middle of the road Matthew mccon
entertaining movie I think it's which
they're both good movies by the way ly
pretty good slave was a little long they
could have done it couldbe could have
done it in eight years n years
slave seven minute
slaves we didn't need to see all 12 of
the years yeah dude come on the last two
years it's like we kind of get how this
goes get it we get it um but yeah what's
the story arc you know like what what do
we expect it yeah dude so it's it's way
less um way way smaller of a budget than
those two honestly the movie is I just
love dumbass comedies like the stuff we
grew up on like the Sandler you know
Spade Farley you know to will frell to
all that stuff that was just like silly
as [ __ ] good you know like the first
movie I was obsessed with was Billy
Madison right and just like goofy
technically a premise but it's like
would this ever happen in real life no
but we just need it's there to just as
like a skeleton for jokes and let's get
goofy Let's Get Silly let's get a bunch
of funny people in it and that's what
this movie is dude it was like I just
wanted you know I wanted the opportunity
to make something that I loved and like
I I don't consider myself an actor I'm a
[ __ ] comic and comedy movies I think
are an extension of just like I'm not
trying to make a good ass movie I'm
trying to make a fun time 90 minutes and
you know I'm proud of it don't get me
wrong it's not [ __ ] dog [ __ ] like
it's still yeah yeah but it's not like
Amistad or like um there was trying to
think something else I've seen recently
no
slavery I don't know what's going on
with your references sorry amadas maybe
no bridges over Madison County or
whatever like that sure sure I didn't
see that one um the bridge the terbia oh
you saw that one huh that's a child's
movie I saw that as a kid it's about a
it's a something happens to somebody I
remember I haven't seen I haven't seen
it since I was a child I is it like a
allegory for something wrong well
someone's handicapped something and I
remember somebody was trying to do um
the life of Jesse Bridges to terbia and
Adolescent changes when he befriends
Leslie the class outside of the children
created imaginary world called tabia
which is inhabited by all manner ofical
so basically no it's not like that
either just it's not like the preach of
Thia yeah so okay so it's not like that
it's just fun dude and I think like
funny movie good comedy funny you turn
your brain off no lessons you're not
going to be a better you're not going to
be a better or worse person you know
what I mean you're just going to have a
good time you're just you can get high
as [ __ ] you know what I mean like you
can you could make some popcorn you
won't miss plot points you might want to
go back and miss and see if you missed a
joke but you get the movie you know what
I mean the whole point is like the
basically the like bullet point is what
if a guy was so annoying his cult
committed suicide without him like they
left him out of the left him out of the
final ritual and then heed to start up
his new his own cult and that's the like
and so I'm just I'm that guy I'm the
[ __ ] annoying idiot who's just like
you know with a heart of gold Classics
classic comedy [ __ ] and I just like you
know we meet a bunch of funny people we
have really funny comics in it Bobby
Kelly is in it for a little bit Tom Papa
is in it for a little bit um you know a
lot of really funny uh just like Wes
Haney who is the who co-wrote it with me
and and Ben kitnick it was basically
like me and my friends got a chance to
make a movie and I was like yeah [ __ ] it
what the [ __ ] like no one no one lets
him no one lets uh no one lets me star
in a movie you know so you just got to
do it so yeah it's nice to have a movie
where it sounds like you just can just
go look at a movie go look at a movie
and the jokes are like I'm not I'm not
trying to make any commentary on
anything I'm just trying to make you
laugh and it's like that it has been
even some of my favorite movies like
towards the end they all kind of had
weird lessons or they just kind of got
like even 40-Year-Old Virgin it's
weirdly like an allegory for virginity
and like find saving yourself from you
can read into a lot of those movies you
cannot read into this movie there is
nothing there is no there is no subtext
there is no it's a fat it's a lovable
fat guy getting into high Jinx for 89
minutes not even 90 you'll be out you'll
be out and if you fast forward to the
credits we get that to 87 and a half you
know talking about huh that's nothing
like your thick guy coming in short you
know absolutely absolutely okay so I get
the movie and they we they need good
comedies it's like you need them it's
like you go to a thing now it's like
yeah some stuff it doesn't even make you
laugh you're like what is this about or
whatever and then like everybody at the
end is kind of like handicapped or
something like what is this you know
it's like Elliot gets a rainbow or
something like what is this it's not you
know and it's like the guy always has a
heart transplant but his new heart is um
like a yeah is like a Libertarian or
something so now he's like I'm going to
kill myself cuz I would rather I would
rather die than have have a heart that's
against public school systems or
something you know no one will be
committing seppuku at the end of this
movie for their political point it's
called it's called homeschool heart that
movie it's a movie where somebody gets
AR transpl and that heart was a
homeschool teacher was a
homeschool that would be crazy that
would be fun yeah yeah it's either it's
EI it's like both it's like and even
independent movies it's like I don't
know cuz I and you know I'd love to talk
about just more comedy stuff too but
yeah but this is interesting because
it's a new time where someone is making
their own film well that's that's the
thing dude is like I don't know how you
feel but I feel like I hit the jackpot
of all jackpots right like I never
thought I'd be [ __ ] podcasting you
know what I mean like I wanted to just
do comedy I never thought I would have
to like build my own fan base to just
like make a living and then like got
really lucky and and like so when you
get lucky what do you do with it and
it's like I've never been the kind of
person that just wants to chase I don't
want to get super famous I don't want to
get super rich I want to be able to make
the stuff I [ __ ] love and like that's
what this was it's like I think you know
there's some people who like we have a
chance like building our own fan bases
where it's like we can make what we like
yeah and instead of trying to
desperately get into like a mainstream
Studio system or or you know not that I
won't make a [ __ ] you know so you
know Studio want you make a movie I'd
love to do it but instead of like
waiting for years like I think I don't
know I think a bunch of like a
generation of comics found out you can
go through the internet make up a fan
base and then it's like what do you want
to do with it and for me it's like let
me just [ __ ] do make a [ __ ] movie
like yeah no the way no one the way no
one it's stupid that I get to like sell
out theaters it's stupid stupid I get to
make movies but that's what I want to
[ __ ] do and instead of just like
being broke and trying to be an actor
and all this other [ __ ] it was like I
know at least some people will see it my
fans will see it hopefully you know some
of your fans will see it like that's the
cool thing about building like a network
where it's like you just hit up your
friends it's like I'm not on I got on
NPR because the lady liked my Mo well
like a lady on the weekend thing liked
my movie but it's like we don't even
have a mainstream way to to put it out
there so I don't know man I just think
it's cool and it would be sick if people
just started doing that sh if you
started doing whatever you're passionate
about because you have this fan base and
you've built your own thing and tires is
like that that was really INSP you know
that was the best thing yeah was that
was one something amazing about tires it
was like you heard jokes on there for
the first time there was jokes about
everybody yeah and it was just normal
stuff you would probably hear at a very
alarming rubber shop yeah yeah yeah it's
a bad tire like God this place exactly
and it's like no one's saying that
that's the only comedy that has to exist
you know what I mean I want to see [ __ ]
from everybody but it's like go make
your own [ __ ] everybody gets to make
their own [ __ ] so that's why my version
of that is just like a goofy ass uh
let's start a cult let's start a cult
and it's on VOD you can rent it uh rent
it or buy it right now you do that right
now by the time this is out it'll be you
can go rent it you can go buy right now
they can get it yeah and it's like and
it's like so VOD like what is that so I
know it means video on but where like
what does that mean Apple Amazon just
wherever you rent you can go to Amazon
put in let's start a cult you watch your
movie exact and now what's that price
point how do y'all figure that out I
don't actually know but hopefully low
I'm trying to get it out there I was
trying I was I'm trying to get there
what do you mean low you're talking
$999 yeah proba maybe lower even than
that well that's yeah I just want people
to see it yeah but you don't want yeah
yeah I get that but you're right I think
probably $9.99 if somebody's like I can
get this or I can get some mac
nuggets I it's not that they they're
going to debate between the two yeah
yeah yeah but then they're kind of like
hey I want both for
$4.99 may maybe we should talk to
McDonald's
we should do we could do a tie-in yeah
remember those glass cups for Batman you
remember those dude those were sick uhuh
oh Batman I believe Batman Forever which
was not a good movie it was like the Jim
Carrey um oh I forgot that he was Batman
no no he was uh the Riddler oh he was
the Riddler yeah yeah they had those
glass cups oh wait with those yes oh
yeah you remember those dude oh yeah I
had the [ __ ] out of those the two- fa
ones but one loser shattered one of
those in the [ __ ] ball pit m mhm and
ruin yeah people were dealing with that
yeah that one that one's a iconic one
the the Tommy Lee Jones one that movie
was [ __ ] awesome and the one after it
with Mr Freeze was even more awesome
they had Joel Schumacher who was just
like the gayest guy of all time he's the
man he's he's a great director but he
made it fun as [ __ ] like those movies
sucked coming off the Tim Burton batm
because they were like went from dark
and like Moody and kind of cool and
comic Booky to like truly the campiest
it was like essentially Batman going to
like Drag Brunch yeah and and like
people weren't ready for that now but
throw those on now you'll have a great
time you'll be you'll be like wow this
is so over the top but it's fun dude you
know what I mean like they got jacked
guys they got sexy ladies just parading
around it's it's very fun Alicia
silverstone's Batwoman Batgirl oh I
remember her she's looking pretty good
when did this happen because I saw the
one with Hugh Ledger and then I saw
Heath Ledger and then I saw the one um
where it was like the two old guys in
the cave running around you know
remember that one I don't remember that
Batman and Batman Batman versus Superman
like a rock or something Batman and
Robin yeah can you bring that up Oh you
mean like the old ass ones yeah the one
where they're like running around in the
same cave over and over again with Adam
West yeah and one of the oh there you go
yeah and one of the guys is like I'm
Batman and the other guy's like I'm just
here you know I'm here for the party
that guy well they they were part Adam
West was absolutely getting [ __ ] in
this era he was like he's like notorious
for [ __ ] and sucking really in this
yeah and I believe with men too I don't
think men I well I don't know
long is that what man ass is is that
this long [ __ ] I think they call it
that I mean cuz dude if you look at it
they you know
weer weer is just long oh Oh you mean
the dick is long yeah like an inverted
okay I thought you were the ass oh yeah
dude a wiener is just like a that's
reaching for
something look at this guy now this just
looks like any uh this looks like it's
awesome he refused to sh to shave his
mustache so they just painted it over
this is how little they gave a [ __ ]
about the Batman TV show the guy was
like I'm not shaving my mustache they're
like we don't give a [ __ ] man he's like
I got to play tennis
tomorrow not shaving this [ __ ]
D but Burgess Meredith who played um the
penguin in this and also played Mickey
and Rocky I believe him and Adam West
were absolute kozz hounds they were just
[ __ ] so much in these in these times
I and by that I mean I saw one Tik Tock
about it and I love to think of that
well they didn't have condoms at this
time did they I don't believe so when
did condoms really no they probably had
them but they weren't using them you
think there was like a luxury good it
was like a fancy thing they they
probably had like I bet you a like a
cavemen were like putting their dick in
like sheep's like intestines not to have
kill children at a certain point oh just
to get it out of their system I think
they just figured out condoms pretty
quick like condoms have been used for
centuries but became more popular at
different times for different reasons
18th century condoms became more
well-known and the market grew despite
opposition opposition to condoms that
was the first time the church was like
this is unnatural
I absolutely yeah the church was against
them I promise you the church was
against them cuz every they got a nut
the whole point of life is procreation
right so for them and mother nature was
probably against him nature M has to be
cuz nature wants things to have sex sure
right that's what nature needs that yeah
so I wonder if nature put that in the
minds of people like we can't stop it
yes you mean Mo like um like mother
nature planted that thought into your
head or she's not going to let that not
like that's only goal right is to smash
and party but is it is it people though
cuz people were doing her harm maybe
Mother Nature wanted condom so rabbit so
rabbits and plants and [ __ ] could [ __ ]
and bring back you know the Eco because
we're [ __ ] polluting especially this
is the 18th century Mother Nature
probably she the Industrial Revolution
happens we start polluting [ __ ] yeah
she's like these [ __ ] are no
good yeah you got to get we got to get
them out of here we got to get them
nutting inside of plastic bags inside of
[ __ ] instead of free and clear yeah
that's a good point you know yeah
started to become sort of this um uh
this it was like blue blockers for kind
of or for for sex you know 19th century
oh go on what you say were you going to
say despite opposition they were sold in
pubs theaters and barber shops barber
shops when the lineup's so crispy you
know you're going to get
[ __ ] like now this that's that's a good
marketing Ploy it is you're going to
need one of these
I you so nice good day sir and then you
get a bad cut and the guy's like H
you're not going to we'll we have eight
for the whole
city and by the way wash it out and tie
it back up when you're done these things
are
expensive I know you see them on the
clothes
line those are the days man don't nut in
it too much I know huh hey come on over
I stole my neigh was condom man yeah
we'll go half on going half on a condom
with your boy tonight tonight Judy like
dude jack off before you [ __ ] yeah I you
don't I don't want the first nut of the
day going in this thing we need we need
the second the weaker one goes in this
one we got to we got to uh we got to
keep the foundation intact on this thing
dude this thing can't handle it can only
handle about seven PSI it's not rated
for the first none of the day loads it's
not rated for that that's crazy and then
19th Century it says rubber condoms
became popular however condom use was
mainly limited to the upper class due to
a lack of sexual education in the
working class is wow that makes sense oh
for sure like these people can barely
you know if this guy's making shoes all
day yeah he's cobbling yeah he's
cobbling or or would cobbling be like a
hierarchy job you think oh you like uh
you mean you mean they're in the shoe
factory the cobbler is kind of a an
artisan a bespoke yes Artisan you're
right yeah yeah he's probably somewhere
in between the two 19th century so we're
talking the 1800s you still got both you
still got combers and shoe factory
workers they wouldn't let them have
condoms it's a little bit of both I
would say where it's like the education
keeps them not understanding how useful
is so the working class has kids
workingclass women have to have kids
earlier they're trapped they don't get
to [ __ ] you know I mean it's a
classic thing the workingclass always
gets tricked in this [ __ ] it in all
of human history while the [ __ ] the
barons [ __ ] suck you know what I mean
they're on their [ __ ] couches they're
on their sh
lounges the the the factory workers they
don't know any better but then they're
just letting them have sex and make more
Factory workers which seems bizarre MH
well that's good for again the upper
classes they want disposable Working
Class People in shitty living conditions
what do they care right and so if the if
if people have more kids it keeps them
in poverty because then they have to
spend and take care of the children and
they get more workers and then wages go
lower right so you know keep them going
keep condoms just for the rich yeah
condoms in 1950s and 1960s condoms
became a popular birth control method
with 42% of Americans of reproductive
age using them for birth control between
1955 and 65 W so that's about when we're
to bring It full circle that's when
Batman I believe the first Batman was
shot so they probably mixed it up they
probably had but those guys look like
raw Doggers to me those guys I think
Adam West can we do a little research on
Adam West sexual history I think Adam
West I think Adam West and Burgess
Meredith they're old school guys they're
not putting on condoms unless absolutely
necessary what do you say look at this
Adam West his stories of romantic
Conquest including the infamous night
with eight women Wow have become the
yeah this man part of lore surrounding
his life and career while some might
View West candid Revelations with a
mixture of astonishment and disbelief
they also offer a glimpse into the
complexities of living under the
spotlight yeah yeah sounds bad real
tough got to [ __ ] suck before
smartphones yeah Lord knows what Adam
West was up to there was no way he was
[ __ ] well he had that bat phone
didn't he
sure he used hey what's that he used it
to gete head oh mayor give me the woman
with the largest tits and Gotham ASAP
bring her over to my trailer you got it
Batman he just shines that bat light
just across into his neighbor's
apartment just [ __ ] dick he has a bat
light but he has a dick light whether
he's horny or
not
yeah
bam
squish the crazy part was when they
would [ __ ] like they had run like this
or something yeah yeah yeah well they
would go up a wall yeah they pretend to
go up a wall and they literally just put
the camera up sideways yeah it's pretty
fun to watch it yeah we need more stuff
like that but you know we just need more
stuff that's Entertainment more Goofy
[ __ ] yeah and no we did not have as
much sex on the I don't think is there a
love story is there a love Arc in there
there you know I will say there is a
there is a sex scene really there is a
sex scene it's and it was probably my
favorite I wrote the movie like I said
with my friends and so of course you
write in a sex scene dude I used to I
used to have acting class and I would
just like we'd have to do scenes and
stuff and I would always bring a scene
where there's like possible making
out that's hilarious and it would just
be like two people are walking and
they're in an argument and then for no
reason they kiss or whatever you wrote
it and J would like this is crazy like
yeah it is dude Janet presses her tits
against Mark uh
vigorously likeo don't put don't add
actions
please I just think it should be clear
yeah I think it should be clear it's a
vigorous tit
press uh it was I had to I had to now
yet had a sex scene Wow first one you've
ever done uh like in a film or something
yeah yeah I think it was I mean that
hiding your phone on a on a cabinet
across the
room without being like Oh yeah I don't
know why that teddy bear is blinking red
that's weird I'm going to go turn it off
then you just put a [ __ ] piece of
black masking tape over it
yeah um I'm trying to think cuz I will
yeah how did he take was that a nervous
day it was weird man so yeah there is a
sexy it's and I don't want to spoil too
much but is a wild one and I will say uh
there there was an intimacy coordinator
and that's the person I felt bad for the
most cuz this person's job is if you're
I had of a nude scene and so if you're
nude some lady has to put a little like
a rubber triangle around your dick and
balls really like one of those bibs you
get at a crab joint yeah it has it has a
lobster with a fork and a and a knife in
it in its claws
printed on it it is honestly not that
far off from that though it is just like
a it's like a plastic thong essentially
no and so so you're naked that day yeah
perhaps I am wow perhaps I am I so
nervous yeah I mean it sucked and then
it's like you know and the person's
naked the woman um I won't divulge who
I'll just say I'm naked okay you know
that's you know and uh so I'm definitely
nude and and one and a woman has to uh
tape literally tape my dick and balls to
this [ __ ] thing because you want to
look naked but you don't want if you
know you don't want people to have to
look at my dick the whole day so you
want to put like a plastic sheet over it
but this woman's job anytime that thing
like slipped she had to just like get in
there just this poor lady man she had to
rape my [ __ ] up she's just like cutting
edge with it huh and she's it's like the
way like uh you know they would they
would tape up your ankles at a high
school football game she had the same
demeanor is just like a grizzled you
know you're going to be
fine yeah I've seen worse yeah here's a
aoup Lim huh it was tough but wow no
dude I [ __ ] so there's a lot of
little layers in the film huh yeah
there's a lot of a lot of you know
anything again anything for a laugh and
I wanted you might never get a chance to
make a movie again so it's like let's
[ __ ] yeah let's leave it all out
there you know what I mean and so and
the way there is always I love I again I
used to love when there was over thep
sex scenes in those movies we're talking
about so I was like let's put one of
those in there's some there's some
physical other physical stuff I had to
run a lot which is hilarious I didn't
think about it yeah any acrobatics or
anything for you I wish next time dude
next time I'm going to [ __ ] spend a
year learning how to do a
backflip yeah or the cartwheel that
never stops yeah that would be sick that
Greek cartwheel that would be awesome
just [ __ ] rattle that [ __ ] just
eliminate the albanians with it I would
love that yeah that's just a joke
get into it that's just a joke albanians
that's just a joke yeah yeah one of my
dear friends that's the the classic
racist thing to say my best friend is
Albanian which is actually true in my
case but it's like the classic um um
what was what and what was the budget of
the film what does it cost that it was
it was 750k wow yeah so it was it
started at like 200k and we did it with
I want to say you know dark sky uh dark
sky films which like it's a smaller
production company they've actually they
done a lot of cool [ __ ] a lot of cool
horror movies and stuff but lower budget
stuff and they were just [ __ ] awesome
uh to work with they just saw a short
that we did and they thought we were
going to write like a one location cuz
the short takes place in one place but
we were like if you're going to let us
make a movie we're going to [ __ ] it
there's going to be wild [ __ ] in it and
so we pretty much pushed it to the the
amount because it's such a weird you
also learn so much about this kind of
[ __ ] where it's like if you go what did
you learn what was the number one thing
you learned you like well I mean I
interrupted you if you go over what no
no like one of the things I learned is
that like you can't really go over a
certain budget because then everything
becomes more expensive and you have to
like you have to get like more just like
for you know Union reasons you have to
get more people involved it becomes like
a harder job whereas like the lower
budget you make a movie they kind of
allow you to like a lot of people can do
different jobs you can you know
obviously you have to follow certain
rules and you can't overwork people but
um there was basically like a limit
where they were like look if you spend
any more than this we have to pay all
the actors more we have to pay everybody
else more and you know we pretty much
lost I mean I lost money so you put some
of your money in no but like just not
working I took I like cancel dates I
like you know what I mean it was like
time cost totally totally and like and
i' I'll probably lose money just like
traveling to promote it and stuff like
that but again who gives a [ __ ] it's
about making cool [ __ ] and it's like I'm
not starting for money and so but yeah
you just learn a bunch of you know and
you also think like you think think a
movie's going to be like this [ __ ]
actors [ __ ] talking about each scene
and [ __ ] like that they're like dude we
have [ __ ] 12 minutes to get this and
oh it's actually the most crucial scene
in the movie well yeah good luck they're
like and this dog has to be asleep in in
in a half hour you're like what we're
putting the dog down yeah we're putting
the dog down unless you nail this scene
I'm like huh yeah yeah it's just cheaper
to put them down Union rules I don't
know bro either nail the scene or the
[ __ ] shih TSU gets
huh I didn't want to kill a dog and you
shouldn't have [ __ ] with the team like
dear God right you think you'd be able
to make your money back I think so we
did pretty well you know we didn't do
crazy uh we had a we had a release in
theater just because I just think it's
important to see yeah no well this is
that's what's amazing about it it's this
you know like uh we had Kevin Smith on
and he's done this you know but now it's
certainly that there are uh creators
that have their own world and they want
to make a film sometimes you know like
me and Spade wrote a movie and we have a
chance to do it right and so we're
finally going to do it and just took
forever to get it together and like
nobody in Hollywood wants to finance or
anything but it's cool to see people
just making their own stuff and so
that's why I called you even last week
and I was like hey tell me about this I
just want to know because it's just
Brave you're trying something thanks man
yeah and it's um and ITA what you want
to do nobody can kind of tell you what's
supposed to be on the script toally the
only limitation was budget and for me I
think that's so much that's so much
cooler and you get to actually be an
artist about it not to [ __ ] suck my
own dick it's a movie about you know a
fat guy and my you see my nuts in it
it's not like I'm [ __ ] again we're
not making you see both your nuts in the
movie I will also mention this they
didn't let me show my real nuts which is
a big problem for me cuz the nuts look
little and I have pretty nice nuts
Foundation I have a nice found truly the
dick the dick is more of an ornamental
piece but it's like the little star at
the top the dick is the nose the lung
the dick is the nose the nuts are the
lungs absolutely they go deep they go
deep they go deep and they're full deep
breath let's just say lungs of the
heavens brother I got Michael phelps's
lungs got nice capacity on those lungs
nose not so much cute little button nose
Michael yeah yeah dude more of a yeah
it's nothing A Snowman no it's not a
Michael Imperioli nose it's a
it's almost like a burn victim nose yeah
right right right right again yeah
shaved off they've made it out of a
little W ankle bone they took a little
ankle bone and they're like look we'll
do our
best yeah it's kind of a Voldemort
situation yeah kind of cat's
nose I've got a penis like a cat's nose
you
know it's cold and wet
yeah I mean I guess it's kind of it
stays up all night stays up all night
yeah yeah it'll it'll bother you it'll
bother you all night it'll [ __ ] it'll
[ __ ] bat your eyes out of your face
while you're
resting it'll keep nudging you until you
give it a little attention it'll beat a
jingle bell to death on your Christmas
tree um wow but yeah but I didn't get to
show my real nuts which is a problem but
again these are the artistic sacrifices
we have to make sometimes to get our
movie made 24 whatever yeah absolutely
yeah but that is crazy and there's
Michael Phelps has small nuts you cannot
nuts I bet you's got a nice pair he's a
large guy he's a huge guy though nut to
the [ __ ] they show okay a big back
tires on a [ __ ] swimmer I think he's
got a nice pair dude no he doesn't look
at this no I will not I bet he's tucked
them underneath his ass you have to
almost tie them in your ass there is
there is okay there is a image I believe
they tried like wow look at that he's
[ __ ] jacked he's probably got a I
mean he's a big dude he's got a nice
pair now I would say probably you size
to size pound for pound I think I have
pretty nice nuts oh yeah and not weight
I'm talking about frame okay we're not
gonna go we're talking about what my
body should be on the on the cuz nuts
that's a big disadvantage for the fat
man titties get bigger the fatter you
get dick and balls stay the same size is
true absolutely dick um my dick got
plumper the fatter I got beautiful time
year yeah yeah the leaves change the
dick the nuts are getting plumper with
every slice of pumpkin
pie every helping of squash your [ __ ]
dick gets a little bigger no your dick
got bigger the figh you are I would be
800 lb I would just be you would have
like feeders trying to get dicks as big
as possible yeah which doesn't happen so
um but I think you want those smaller
nuts you want less drag if you're a
swimmer that's not big thing you want
Roy Jones Juniors you
know dude why don't they have Roy Jones
Jor mints that's a great idea Roy Jin
kidding anymore yep they'll knock out
bad breath yeah done and done dude yeah
something chocol that knocks out bad
yeah yeah yeah I love that just a hint
of chocolate oh um well so that movie is
out now people can go check it out yeah
please go see please please go see it
congratulations man thank you dude and
yeah I think it's you know it's cool to
support you know it's obviously my movie
I I believe it believe in it a lot but
it's like anytime creative people that
you like make [ __ ] outside of a system I
think it's kind of important to go
support that [ __ ] yeah well it's kind of
like a new realm you know and also some
movies that are billion dollar movies
are are horrible there was one Ryan
Gosling with and my mom and I went and
saw was horrible yeah I went and saw
something the other night it was um a
chance in time or something can you look
it up for me we live in time
there you go well here's what I don't is
that bad that looks I like those actors
it was sweet was cute but every shot was
so close on their faces after a while
you're like where's all the money they
spent on sets who you can't even see the
set so what starts to happen for me I
notice in movies is they shoot things so
tight nowadays right like it's just this
right and your brain there's no like
your imagination if there's more going
on your imagination has to process
things on the screen right so your
imagination is interested in what's
going on but if there's nothing to even
really think about it's so dumbed down
everything is this tight you're not
you're just kind of like you just start
to lose interest because I think there's
a part of you that's not working you
know it's like when they shoot comedies
now it's like they shoot everything so
tight and it's just
about you don't get you don't see
people's body language stuff they just I
feel like they miss out on a lot of
things um just because they think we
need it to be so simple yeah well I
think that is another thing that I
learned about movies which I didn't
think about at all is that it is such a
visual you think it's about the writing
you think it's about your jokes and
especially being a comic you're like
it's all about the writing it's all
about the jokes and you don't think
about like it's a visual medium it's
like a bunch of interesting pictures
strung together ultimately is what it is
and it was interesting to like like talk
to our cinematographer and a scene that
I thought was like pretty
straightforward just two people talking
kind of what you're describing just
faces he's like no n let's [ __ ] play
why don't you guys lean on the car why
don't we make it a little more
interesting and like that was a [ __ ]
sick part of it to like yeah I cuz you
don't think about that I just think
about the jokes and I just think about
my words getting laughs and then it's
cool to watch a movie and be like oh you
just do something with your face and
that's a laugh and you just [ __ ] you
run funny and that's a laugh you know
what I mean and it's like that was a
cool thing again I love comedy so much
and I'm just trying to figure out every
way to be funny and I think like yeah
what you're saying of like making it
interesting having the visuals being
really interesting that's a huge a huge
again it's a cool learning experience
and that's what I I don't know if you
feel this way but it's like that's the
nice thing about about like learning you
[ __ ] is just how can we be funny and
like the the time I felt the most
engaged in my life was like when I was
an open mic or learning how to do comedy
and it's cool to get the chance to make
a movie and like feel like I don't know
dick I'm a [ __ ] dumb as [ __ ] like
let's figure out how to how to make all
this stuff and yeah I'm a recovering
Greek yeah yeah yeah I know I'm [ __ ]
I'll never kick
that I had [ __ ] I had a EO yesterday
bro I had yesterday dude I'll never
sorry man I thought you had some time
under your
belt know um you know I sometime I put
on uh them nighttime
Underpants you know what I'm talking
about cuz who sleeps naked baby a
criminal that's who not I
Tommy John's that's what I'm wearing I
like Tommy John's I like them them male
negl they got for you them under pants
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smooth you can feel them and they feel
good God you can't even believe you're
feeling yourself when you got them tjs
on baby them tummy
je God they feel so good I want them on
right now I'll put them all over myself
what I love about him is the waistband
isn't super tight on him some underpaint
you get him the waistband so tight so I
have one sip of water and then I got to
go pee PE I don't like doing that Tommy
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podcast let's you also you have an
annual calendar D which is pretty crazy
and is that is that coming out soon
that's out now yeah that's out now yes
the
2025 it's all you can already buy it the
2025 look at the calf on this guy you
like that dude look at the it's popping
kettle bell you're hiding there it's
popping brother yeah wow you got that
Rogan head down there nuts and calves
that's all I got oh fat nuts and calves
and you know oh you know and is this
real yeah yeah I'm on [ __ ] Mount
Everest right there that's me that's
some beautiful some of it's real some of
it is uh the work of my my brilliant uh
uh producer Benjamin butt cheeks Benny
butt cheeks Ben o'ri who also directed
my special he helps me with the calendar
as well squirt of course the get heads
be that you right there
wow yeah if you zoom in on those there's
a lot of fun lot of fun to see right the
set right it adds to it m [ __ ] do you
jizera wow oh the different books on the
bookshelf a lot of Easter eggs in here
huh a lot of Easter eggs a lot of Easter
eggs and then there we have Halloween
right there oh yeah and this is very
Chelsea Lynn you guys she has a calendar
as well I yes I saw that she had that
I've been I uh I've been doing a nude
this was the first thing that was
successful in my career before I had
anything going on I would I sold a nude
calendar when I was like basically a
feature I was opening for Bobby Kelly
and dude this was the first thing that
ever made me money I've been doing a
calendar for legitimately probably I
think nine years
reallya I used to print them myself I
used to sell them out of my [ __ ]
Honda Civic and now it's like and now it
makes a [ __ ] ton of money but I would
make like a couple like back in the day
I would make a couple thousand bucks and
I was like I'm [ __ ] Rich dude and the
the headliner starts to hate you d he s
you that was always a thing the
headliner and the feature selling stuff
well that's why I mean Bobby was the man
and he he knew me and I was like then
and he was cool with it and I also would
just like I would just [ __ ] sell it
on Instagram and like mail it personally
to people like I had no just like sell
it out of the back of my [ __ ] trunk
at like I would be headlining shitty
little [ __ ] you know like a
restaurant in h Frederick Maryland oh
just be 12 polaro [ __ ] or whatever and
you just wrote a different month on
one you're like but what if you only had
11 polar you it's like January February
[Music]
spring June July
August um do you ever audition other men
to be in it because I was wondering if
there should be more I mean you do a
great job right but would there ever be
the possibility to creating a something
around the idea of getting other men in
there interesting A diversity of body
types yeah um I don't know I've never I
I did think at one point to get to make
it like a collaborative calendar where
every month there's like a a guest
that's a different type of person you
know like maybe men maybe women some
non-binary [ __ ] just some
different body types just like
Sagittarius whatever dude yeah yeah yeah
get them all barbecue lovers
whatever some centaurs uh some uh oh
yeah half short legs y long life short
legs that is true the taller you are the
the quicker you die is it that's what
I'm saying Timber yeah short people live
longer bring them down yeah yeah enjoy
all that [ __ ] 66
guys must be nice dude now I'm not going
to go into the Obesity metrics right now
we're just going to keep it we're just
going to keep it just on hype
yeah I'm going to take my winds where I
can get them brother this ain't about me
dude this is not about me some people
say fat some people a foundational
that's right a good foundation you're
not knocking me over in the wind it
would be cool if you got guys on there
just get like you could get a lot of
union workers too sure I would love to
get yeah you're right I should get lay
them down put some grapes on their chest
yeah yeah yeah absolutely dude grapes
will that'll [ __ ] that'll Greek out
any union worker sure I think they're
close I think you show them a little you
know any the the most hard edged union
worker you show them a little bit of the
forbidden fruit of what it can be like
to be to be a fat uh you know just you
they would trade in a heartbeat
rubenesque cement yes yes yes yes yes
absolutely that's what we should that's
what we should figure out here we should
set up a situation where it's like look
we got DMS coming in yeah we're not
going to be able to [ __ ] everybody wants
to [ __ ] us we don't want to [ __ ]
everybody wants to [ __ ] us right what do
you mean what are you saying I'm saying
both of us I feel like have uh I'm sure
your D I don't check my DMs too much we
have DMS coming in saying I'm saying I
say there's women young ladies that want
to you know are attracted to a style of
guy older ladies across the board we're
not going to [ __ ] all of them we should
be able to find in my case rubenesque
you know union workers in your case I
don't you know I don't know exactly no
guys that run rehabs or you know you
know like guys that run rehabs or I
don't know I've been offered couple free
30day stays I'll tell you
that but you know little mullet guys you
know what I mean
Theo Style Gentleman yeah neighbors of
farmers neighbors of far yeah they don't
do any any farming themselves but they
got the same zip code they got Farmland
zip code but they don't own a tractor oh
but they'll sit on their porch and look
at at the other guy's place and be like
oh look at these soil fat over there you
know so yeah there's we should be able
to to hand them off some of the DMS
that's all I'm saying I think that would
be a nice thing to do yeah yeah like
donated DM to someone donate a DM almost
like create love connections you know o
I would love to see a dating site if you
would put one together I'd love to do
that I'd love to host a dating show
actually that would be awesome you'd be
so good at it awes that could be maybe
your next movie you host a dating show
and then you find Love Somehow I love
that little romantic comedy yeah I
remember you saying one time about like
uh one of the reasons that you got on a
comedy was for dating right a lot of
guys purely without question okay and I
think maybe and is that still a good
reason do you feel like like what's that
evolved like a little bit you know or to
get laid like does that work you know
and what's the dangers also of having
sex in some places some regions of the
country the regional dangers of Kus yeah
I'm just saying if you're ever in the
bus belt you
know well you can't let it fly like Adam
West used to I'm definitely using
condoms I'll put it that way I guess the
dangers of the bus getting you don't
want to get stuck in the bus belt yeah
you can vac you can have a nice visit
but you don't want to be a father that
has to check in court ordered once a
month at the bus belt that's the biggest
danger ESP you if it's a layover to get
to your child oh no dud how many
children lose out on a father because
there's a layover right because uh Jet
Blue doesn't want to [ __ ] fly direct
to
akan oh dude and we just used akan in a
joke last week which is crazy that you
did as well
show yeah yeah we were there at the same
that was that's why I thought of it that
was fun as [ __ ] it was fun but yeah what
are the side effects now as you see that
you've been out the you know you've been
out in the world over there you know
glazing sure sure sure sure sure you
glazing the you know different um
literal glazing not the metaphorical
like sort of pumping somebody up yeah
yeah you mean actually glazing yeah just
uh yeah or you know uh whatever they
call it letting fly yeah filling the man
you know doing the manati or whatever
yeah filling the manati
up filling up the manicot yeah you've
been more you know creaming the canol
yeah absolutely I got you brother but
yeah and what does it what does it look
like over time do you feel like oh cuz
that gets not good not good at
all I mean that's that's something I'm
facing kind of I don't know if it's
headon I don't know if I it's one of
those things there's a couple things
remaining in my life that I feel like I
need to conquer and that's long-term
Health like I have I took a lot of time
off and I lost some weight this year I
lost like 45 pounds but in the month
that I've been shooting tires promoting
the movie doing standup again [ __ ]
I've gained 10 pound you know what it's
yeah CU you look more organized your
body does thank you yeah yeah yeah it
was a it was a mess before it was like
uh when you go remember when you just
that show where they would open up
random uh storage units yeah that's kind
of what my body was like you never knew
once the shirt comes off you don't know
what you're going to get wow you know
what I mean there is a little more now
you open up a storage unit at least it's
got some rusty shelves that all the all
the all the stuff is in in Little Boxes
some curios okay it's a cabinet of
Cu there's a little something you know
absolutely uh I've been working out and
so I still am lifting weights and stuff
and I feel better I I literally City
biked over here from from Queens uh yeah
cuz you a little wet when you got here
iy I had a sweat I was I was [ __ ]
City biking listening to sexy red you
know the inxy we trust a lot of bangers
on that nothing like listening to bad
[ __ ] when you're working out in my
experience cuz it puts me in that in
that head space you know of that like
you know there's something a little more
there's something a little more um you
know sure I she's back I love she's back
honestly the one about the uh the
gentleman being outside I don't remember
which uh I don't remember which one it
is it's sort of like a you know uh an
Anthem for for the gals to get ready
maybe it's outside outside yeah it's
basically a song about hey gals uh you
know look real hot there's a bunch of
sexy gentlemen outside and even though I
don't want to [ __ ] the guys I could
gender flip that and be like fellas yeah
there's [ __ ] to be gotten let's
[ __ ] put on our nice shirt let's get
out there there's opportunity to
opportunity to be gotten yeah cuz I'll
go in the bathroom sometimes at a bar
and there'll be guys in there and I'll
yell like [ __ ] piss and get back out
there yeah boys come on you've been shut
you've been shut down three times in a
row actually maybe go home and now that
I think of
it you're kind of [ __ ] The Vibes up I
just thought about it for a second
please leave both the ratio and The
Vibes are being [ __ ] up by
you I'm more like a like a you pissy S
Grant when I'm in there I'll just start
tell the boys yeah get back out there
what do you mean what do you mean you
cked up your
little do you mean there's no way your
dick Works remember people used to slap
people like
that that I really want to do that once
in my life three stoos you could be in
one of the three Studio I would love to
I would love to do some physical comedy
but I would also love to bring one of my
friends to his senses when he's having a
psychotic break with a nice get yourself
together man that would feel awesome
yeah yeah get yourself together man the
markets are
closed and that's all it used to take
yeah you didn't have to send someone to
a [ __ ] mental institution you [ __ ]
them once in a public
Street simpler times different now did
he go home and hit his wife
not deal with any of the mental issues
probably we can't say we don't know
maybe it is better again on second
thought there wasn't a lot of accurate
reporting back then right we don't know
the
numbers do you what was that like taking
a year you took a year off stand up yeah
a year it was about six months but yeah
I didn't tour from February until I had
like one date but you still practice or
no no I was I didn't I didn't do any
standup um and it was it was [ __ ] the
thing that sucks is it was awesome like
I felt peaceful I didn't have to travel
every [ __ ] week being unemployed yeah
it was yeah exactly it felt like that I
would I would go on long walks I would
[ __ ] go I would go to like [ __ ]
the supermarket and just see what was on
it's like what's on special today I had
like a I've never heard somebody say
I'll go on long walks through the super
to the supermarket like to the superet
not through no I'm like here's this guy
who's [ __ ] I'm pulling up to a
[ __ ] Safeway and hitting I'm hitting
all the aisles at the grocery store like
oh what do you mean there's not a mile
marker by the gram
crackers the way they have old people
walk through malls they have fat people
walk through grocery stores like come on
these are your favorite things little
buddy you pass the ice cream eight times
you get you get a lick you get a you get
a [ __ ] thing a Halo top um no I would
I would [ __ ] walk by the water and B
I was in Baltimore I would take long ass
walks I would buy like one piece of meat
Grill it up eat it with some veggies it
was a beautiful beautiful simple life
but I also love that's the other thing
is like and I did stand up I was like
damn this is awesome yeah but I think
the the the lesson is to not do three
things at once um it's a lot so I think
like next year when I tour I'm not doing
anything else like right now I made the
mistake of going from nothing to tires
the movie coming out um uh my back to my
standup back to my podcast I'm also I
have a tour that I'm announcing I think
actually probably if it comes out next
week it'll be then but the Dreamboat
tour I'm doing a big all across like on
the water I yeah that would be [ __ ]
sick I should have done that I should
have chartered a sailboat but no it's
more of a metaphor metaphorically the
Dreamboat tour can you imagine [ __ ]
chartering a sailboat to go to your
shows that would be [ __ ] awesome like
where is stars like he's on the horn
he's on the yeah the C the Horn of
Africa the Horn of yeah he got caught G
The gales of November came early and
caught
him he's marooned off off Vancouver
Island off the SE shell yeah he only
sold 40 tickets near the Suz
Canal he still got to go down he still
got to go he's still got to go are the
Greeks the blacks of are some people
say some people say the that the Greeks
are the blacks of Europe and who are
these people exactly huh bring up
someone bring
up
Google no people say that all the
time I'm serious
man serious bro you'll be wandering past
a an olive
shop and you'll you'll hear the door
will open and you'll hear somebody are
you talking about your internal
monologue Theo are you talking about
every time you see a Greek person that's
what you think than I'm just saying
there is a lot of people call them black
olives okay that's all I'm saying
there's a lot of conversation about
black oliv out there sure hey I'll I'll
take that with pride black people are
the cool they they're the they're the
culture drivers of America without
question in some ways I guess that's you
know maybe ancient Greece what's
democracy if not the original hip-hop
yeah you know what I mean how everything
filtered out from that kind of you know
the same way love it when you call me
Big s yeah yeah the same way music's
been taking from black people forever
everyone's kind of been taking our [ __ ]
between philosophy and democracy from a
pompe pompe I believe was was that the
Roman Empire don't be a hater [ __ ] [ __ ]
Rome they took our whole [ __ ] think it's
in
Greece so don't kill our that Louisiana
public school system
hey cheaper Globes cheaper Globes if if
they're from 1820 30
countries they Mash Europe together yeah
so no comment on that huh uh I say I'll
take that like I said you know I I had a
joke in my special where if you think of
really I think Greeks are probably the
most light-skinned Arabs is really where
we have more
cultural uh we're pretty similar people
yeah loud you know what I mean like loud
kind of flashy you know what I mean um
but I think people British people loved
England or England loved ancient Greece
so much that they were like we got to
make them white because then white
people were you know what I mean like
ancient Greece was white when in reality
I think we're probably light skinned
Arabs yeah very loud you know touchy
feely lot you know what I mean like it
just it's the same Vibe the Gold Jewel
you know I'm wearing Jewels you know
what I mean something yeah for
sure yeah warm intense people we're not
we're less you know I feel like grape
grapes but like grapes grapes is a very
Middle Eastern food is we'll take grapes
we'll take grapes dates all that type of
[ __ ] oh yeahuh a date's nice and me
personally I like I like that kind of
that kind of that style of woman as well
nice curly hair big nose type of
situation anywhere from like you know
you go Spain to the Middle East kind of
I met a beautiful Greek girl one time in
Florida oh okay and got popped a couple
Wier pills or something this is early
when the gas stations just had sure sure
ask what we talking about Street
Overlord uh Rhino this was before Rhino
wow this was like uh I think these were
healthy dose or
something or uh the last Captain I think
one was called it was like these were
hopeful ones love it love it love it
love it and I remember I took a couple
of them dude and then I was like trying
to make out this girl and my nose
bleeding right onto her chest
dude oh oh what a shame that could have
been your wife dude she was so cool too
some about a curly-haired woman dude I
agree I actually my favorite yeah you
know they're crazy if their hair had to
come out like
that you know like you you would have
been you would have been a great 17th
century doctor she well You Can Tell
She's suffering from bouts of insanity
look at her hair look at the wave in her
hair my God look at the print out
here this is she's
lying look how far apart her eyes are
that's a space for
deceit that's the deceit zone right here
see I guess she's just holess let's calm
down but they look at uh they it's like
the um your a lie detector test or
whatever yeah yeah what else is wow the
boner pills huh that was bro I took most
of my life cuz I just had so much
anxiety oh dude believe me same I'm
lucky that I only caught the tail end of
the of the uh gas station era horrible
now you can get them online pretty
easily but I also in the in between one
time I convinced I had an old Italian
doctor and I convinced him I had some
other I read that like if you have some
kind of prostate issue you can also take
seis to like relieve that I just kind of
read it as like I was doing my research
yeah for sure and I was like dude I
think my [ __ ] prostates [ __ ] up
acting up yeah yeah my prostates acting
up he picking up radio
stations yeah and he was like and he had
to put his finger on my ass and he he
realized the prostate was fine but then
he was
like okay I give you the cup he knew
what I wanted which is also like why'
you have to put your finger up my
ass but I guess he just was hoping I was
on to something and then he was like
listen I give you this and no more but
he was like he knew I was just I was
like
20 short fingers wide fingers though
like come on he was [ __ ] awesome and
he just gave me a couple dick pills and
dude those were like that was my holy
Grill I had like a sample pack seis and
I [ __ ] oh so when that yeah when
those sample sealas and stuff hit the
streets they were breaking people's
windows to get those dude I went when I
first went to college I went and lived
with my buddy's dad he had a Viagra
prescription right he lived in a one
bedroom apartment where the [ __ ] were
you living on the couch yeah that's
awesome and we would take turns like
sleeping on the couch of the bed right
and so and there you and his
dad and the reason I did was because he
got bone repeal subscriptions right she
could so I can
n but he only got like eight of them and
I'm like [ __ ] it's so hard to steal off
steal out of eight is you kind of like
the third day you can pull one like oh
he got drunk he took two
but you have to cut one directly in half
like how did one yeah just get just
taken in half yeah you got to take it in
half you got to make that last oh yeah
took a and then but that's a fun that's
a fun kind of Passover Parable it was
horrible making the one dick pill last
12 days whatever just nibbling on it
just a little bit we had one can of oil
and we made it last for 64 days whatever
yeah one dick pill 100 mgram viagro we
made it last for 12 weeks we each took
one lick of
it me and my friend's
dad Shabbat shalong how long y Shabbat
sh
Shong um how long were you living with
your friend's father six months one
semester of
school God how were your grades that
semester here was the crazy part we had
a wall there was like a half wall there
wasn't a it was a loft the bedroom was a
loft and there was a living room it was
a nice building they did have a pool to
that was pretty cool and um I was
learning to play guitar at the time and
so I would go in there he'd have some
every now and then he'd have a chick
stay over and I'd go in there and play
um uh tears
and the song about Eric Clapton's son
dying is that it's about yeah that's a
song you would play while the guy was
getting
[Music]
Mee it's about his [ __ ] sun falling
out of a
window what yeah no way how was it
somebody in the military no he was like
a little ass kid dude it's a tragic
song oh dude sorry I'm sorry
Eric is CL still alive he's alive yeah
oh
man so so your friend's dad who's giving
you shelter is getting [ __ ] with one of
his eight
viagras and he has to battle that Viagra
is up against that old man's LED and the
saddest song one of the saddest songs of
the 90s
a poor rendition by the way there's no
way you were good at it you're
butchering it and it's sad as
[ __ ] [ __ ] oh sorry
sorry oh so my
badink
[ __ ] would you know my
name dude but I would go there and one
time after a they would requested me to
come back in wow you were the [ __ ]
you were the music for
[ __ ] usually post qule that would
bring me in po post and I also then
eventually played um uh um uh Every Rose
Has Its Thorn I rock that form a little
bit and I did eventually a um Widespread
Panic okay nice yeah that's good man so
that was your the three songs light yeah
[ __ ] rattle that up very poor
rendition lot of hand beating on the
[ __ ] yeah yeah yeah try and dress it
up you can barely play guitar Ning on a
viagara to keep me going yeah like a
mouse with a little beats of cheese and
that dude was hammering dude and I and I
was having so much sexual issues and
[ __ ] he be in there just [ __ ] I
almost haveit to send him in there i' be
like just go up the hill man come on
climb up his bunk bed climb up the top
bunk turn
around that's a very interesting living
room like uh Dynamic and we had an
eclipse his son had an eclipse cuz this
dude was struggling his son had an
eclipse yeah Mitsubishi Eclipse but it
wouldn't turn off right you couldn't
turn it off so you had to just siing gas
no you just had to keep putting gas so
we keep like we hold on hold on it never
turned off you couldn't you could but
you'd have to [ __ ] it was so hard to get
back on so we would just we keep like
extra cans of gas at the [ __ ] parking
space we had an underground parking
space yeah that was it but it was a
green one that's a nice car man I
remember thep and it had good rims on it
too I don't if they have that oh not
that green that is very more of a seaf
foam yeah I would go with that one to
the right of the of the horizontal one
of the vertical one left left right
there mhm nice something like that yeah
dude oh yeah not as nice as that but
something like get the idea yeah but
that [ __ ] uh we would keep a couple
cans of gas cuz it got great mileage you
can [ __ ] keep it
going I don't know get the mileages if
you have to keep the gas just to keep it
running I would drive that [ __ ] over I
went to lyola University I'd drive that
[ __ ] and [ __ ] in there's one in in
New Orleans and since you kept it
running people didn't you could park in
a weird spot and people like oh the
guy's just coming and going and how long
would it be there idling [ __ ] two
hours I'd [ __ ] be in
class I'd be in class dude but it was
kind of nice right when you got to it
got right in sure sure sure sure you
don't have the [ __ ] that hassle of
doing this turning your [ __ ] turning
your [ __ ] forefinger one inch but it
was a flex to the lady like damn that
guy's a chauffeur keep it running like
it's him it's you from the
past but that's my
cherur sorry guys my rides here my rides
here no one stole it huh no they
respected the eclipse I guess I mean
sometimes I would put the Flash on I
think it's like there's a lot of reverse
psychology there you know it's a lot of
General Sherman hiding in plain sight
yeah very much very much of
thein how they behaved um I love the
idea of and how old was that guy at the
time is that depress 52 handsome pretty
good at tennis handsome he could wear
short shorts love that he's a
foundational guy Foundation plus-size
guy middle siiz middle size midsize yeah
love that I see love to drink he's a
vodka orange juice guy in the morning
even morning Drinker and I guess a
divorced man yeah if he was hammering
I'd lived with his family before that
and he gotten well through the divorce
yeah and then he got you in the
divorce he's like how the [ __ ] did I end
up with my son's adult friend in the
divorce this [ __ ] got the house I got
Theo playing [ __ ] tears of Heaven
while I'm trying to get keep a heart on
and meanwhile you can barely hear the
song cuz there's a Mitsubishi
Eclipse the fumes are coming up through
the underground garage you have [ __ ]
poison you have CO2
poisoning oh man dude that's [ __ ]
awesome That's crazy dude was that your
weirdest that was probably one of my
craziest living situations but I always
lived for cheap man I slept under my my
buddy's bed for probably 7 months out in
Flo in uh Los Angeles when I first got
out there I lived in this little
cupboard that was in a um living room
they had like these two cupboard doors
and it was like four 3 ft High okay 4T
wide just the bed no there was no bed in
there it was just a floor right that we
put but it was long and it was like
probably 8 ft deep so it's perfect I'm
going to bed boom get in there like a
bird little bird house or whatever yeah
yeah yeah yeah and I like come out right
on the hour you know right right
right I was always sharing dude I slept
on my buddy's floor for $150 in college
in a sleeping bag and I'd [ __ ] yell
at him complain about [ __ ] but he needed
the money
[ __ ] it's so [ __ ] funny I did the
say I I similarly I convinced my friends
to give me a shitty room in their house
in Baltimore I lived for 300 bucks oh
yeah uh a month I had a room they were
just like I was literally living on the
my my go-to meal was beans and eggs on
one I would bake them and put them on
one sheet and that way I could just use
the sheet as my plate I wouldn't have to
do dishes I just after I'm done eating
the beans and eggs into the washing
machine directly into the washing
machine with the condoms from the 18th
century yeah hang it off the [ __ ]
close line don't mind if I don't mind
please please hang them let the
neighbors
see we're fully operational over here
mhm no no 1/8 of a Viagra needed um um
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EO there are some things in life that
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tzach
do.com Theo what did I see in the news
oh I saw did you see that Mark wallberg
Restaurant W bers the CL burned down
though he had a new
restaurant a fancy one uh let me see
Mark Wahlberg's new restaurant in Las
Vegas burns down opening day opening day
wow Mark Wahlberg was excited about
today because he's supposed to open up
his new restaurant fletcha Cantina
fletcha went up in Flames just hours ago
check this out this is Town Square and
it's obviously fully involved with fire
here and we have gotten a ton of emails
to this station inviting the cameras out
because Mark Wahlberg was going to be
there around this afterno on the oh
no you can see the Flames inside they
were going to get the oversized scissors
out and welcome everyone in for the
grand opening so obviously that's they
defrauded dude you
think you think you think that's just a
plate of fajitas that was sizzling too
much you think that got a little out of
control a great point do we know it's
not just a really intense
fajita it is fletch a Cantina after all
go back and show that window right there
that does look yeah like and they spray
that that flavor on it smoke or whatever
M like Greece we have uh yeah
yeah maybe a flambay we do a saganaki
Greek people the cheese you set on fire
oh yeah a lot of different stuff it
could be I don't think we should draw
draw conclusions right away yeah dude
that's crazy I thought it was a burger
shop he was doing but that's wild
they're going Mexican now Fletcher yeah
doesn't sound I gotta be honest does not
sound appealing Fletcher sounds too much
like flesh fletcha I he it's a regular
like I'm going to fletcha Fletcher
Cantina no thanks yeah it's kind of
bizarre Cantina I'm okay with he's done
some interesting things you know he had
an alcohol but then he said he didn't
drink and then he came out with a
tequila which I thought was kind of wild
interesting interesting what do you
think that's about I don't know I think
it was just when when when like
celebrities coming out with Tequilas it
was purely a business move yeah like
when George Clooney came out with one
one time I was in Toronto I'm sitting
there it's like probably or
something you know a.m. I'm just sitting
on my computer in the lobby dude um
hoping to meet my wife or whatever
yeah at on your computer desperate
for attention probably I don't know
that's [ __ ] awesome I can't remember
why after a show you're just there uh I
think I was doing shows yeah gotta so I
was just hanging out um because yeah
it's funny after shows you don't want to
go to like bars and [ __ ] yeah it's like
you go to a bar you're going to see a
lot of people from the show going be
overwhelming and then if I don't drink
it's hard to be there so it's like you
don't there's nowhere usually to go sure
no that's true restaurants are closed
usually so then you can go to like like
gas station sometimes ice cream or your
hotel sure but I'm sitting there and I
feel something on my neck right here in
this [ __ ] Mark Wahlberg dude
pretending to have a gun
yeah he's like caught you slipping you
know or however you know you have failed
the the keep it on you CH or CAU lacking
challenge yeah yes you failed the CAU
lacking challenge by Mark walber I was
like look at this [ __ ] Boondock Saye
out here was he in that movie he was not
oh damn one of the joke
land but he does embody the spirit of
The Boondock Saints question yeah he
thought he was in it but I said that and
then he invited me the next day to his
tequila opening he was actually really
nice he had a nice group of friends
really chill he seems nice but it's also
like that level of Fame where people
start to go insane in a like polite way
like a guy like it doesn't seem Sinister
but it's insane to wake up at in
the morning to work out yeah and play
golf and like is crazy and like
yeah go to m wake up pray for 1
hour I mean I know you know whatever
this I don't know if he yeah I mean
that's not a time to wake up a.m.
wake up a.m. crypto prayer yeah
breakfast 340 to workout
that's a long workout respect
post-workout meal only 2 hours after
breakfast that's wild shower he gets an
hour and a half for shower
that can't be real right hey dude I have
definitely taken some sad showers yeah
but that's not when you're [ __ ] when
you when you're a regimented like
planning an hour and a half shower you
don't plan hour and a half showers
you're so [ __ ] up that you take an
hour and a half shower I've taken some
of those too Theo I'm not judging but
that's when I'm hung over as [ __ ] and
I'm like should I just [ __ ] do drugs
at 700 a.m. like that's like that you're
spending 45 minutes convincing yourself
not to take pills that's what those long
showers are man they're not thinking
about the Lord in my [ __ ] bicep curs
I'm so high I should go in the shower
yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe if I'm in the
shower I won't purchase a prostitute
that's what that that's what that shower
maybe if my hands are wet I can't
[ __ ] use my phone so I won't [ __ ]
bu and hate myself the second I nut
that's what that shower's about that
shower's not reflecting on your 315
breakfast and look we're cross promoting
our own lives here with yours we're not
talking about Mark this is from ours
this is we're yeah we're putting a
little the personal into this
Rift yeah
yeah but yeah it's just got to be W but
you open a restaurant dude opening day
and that thing Cooks that's crazy that's
you know I think um I'm trying to think
of anything good burnt down bu us when I
was growing up ooh any good fires I
don't know if we have I only have hate
crimes in my neighborhood which are not
fun to talk about just idiots that
didn't understand that Indian people
weren't like after 9/11 some [ __ ]
idiot in balore Indian person get [ __ ]
yeah they just B just a guy a seek guy
who wore a turban he's like he's Osama
Bin Laden so I'm G to [ __ ] burn down
his [ __ ] Mini Mart you're like that's
[ __ ] that guy's a
librarian you know that guy runs a
7-Eleven the library in the middle of it
yeah literally he was like a [ __ ]
nice guy um I just went to a nice Indian
restaurant here the other day called um
uh Bungalow nice I love that I like a
nice indian yeah there it is this Indian
oh uh VI vcas vcas is the chef there Vos
dude he let us sit at the chef's table
they put a little table right by the
kitchen it was it's fancy but it's not
crazy fancy um I got this guy on the
podcast it was just fascinating to like
uh eat Indian food learn like just about
some of the energy and why they have
certain things it was it was that looks
awesome I'll check it out ton of Indian
people and he said a lot of Indian
people don't go out to dinner because a
lot of them cook at home yeah and they
always want they always believe their
cooking is better than other places I
get that I understand that I mean I do
not believe that at my
place well what your tra the traditional
Cadia smoothie yeah yeah a slim jim
quesadilla that's what you grew up on
and nobody can make these better than my
mom owl meat fried
rice little bit of squab in
there from the holidays littleit maybe a
nice maybe a nice posum rib roast a
little bit of Pon we call it huh little
bit of [ __ ] uh sidewalk
oysters you know what I'm talking about
um what were we just talking about uh
the Indian people will not go out to eat
right but that restaurant was really
great man went there that was kind of
cool I love that I went I was in England
I was in London and I had Indian food
and it was so incredible yeah yeah well
you know that's the one upside to the
[ __ ] the British Empire it's like if
they they brought Indian food along if
they [ __ ] up India the least I can do
is go enjoy a nice meal yeah as a result
you know they're there either way yeah
so but it was good as [ __ ] it was uh
you'd be a good Indian I think thank you
man yeah thank you I appreciate that
100% man yeah I've got some Buddha
qualities I just think um yeah they
would Harald you I feel like well they
do respect the cow so I have a bull kind
of like a bull yeah I think they would
just yes I kind of like a bull you could
like an Indian sumo wrestler I would
love that we that be one of your another
movies it's like you go to India to be
the first Indian Su wrestler put you in
some semi off Brown face yeah I don't
know about that I don't know if yeah
maybe I'll just get a nice tan huh I can
I can get pretty crisp dude can you
Greek Mediterranean blood you know maybe
that's it maybe that's what happens I
get such a tan that someone mistakes me
for an Indian signs you up signs me up
to be the first Indian sumo wrestler and
there we go India's first female sumo
wrestler defying odds and empowering
women hatal Dave is her name hatal shout
out to hatal hatal Dave's journey in sum
wrestling is not just about personal
Triumph it's about rewriting what's
possible for women in India love that
push them around hital love interest
yeah I could I could smash an IND an
Indian Suma wrestling woman no problem
that's love dude that's love absolutely
I can't really tell I'm going to say yes
I'm going to give it a a hesitant yes
from that picture that I would smash I
me for the movie that she could be your
yeah and I'm saying you know I want to
do it for real you let's see what
happens huh yeah let's see what kind of
Sparks Fly on set yeah yeah dude that's
all it is dude you know you think of
romance maybe is possible between you
and Spade maybe you got just have like a
come become gay later in life no there's
a gay uh there's I think Tim Dylan might
be in it okay small part or just who do
you think sucks who off then not
it so TBD bro to be
David DVD to be
Dave so we'll see what God wants out of
those guys love that yeah yeah I can see
Tim doing that pull what about what
about the election over there happen man
did did people go crazy out here in New
York did you feel any of that energy I
where was I I just felt so glad that
it's over I was
filming um Philly taping yeah we were
taping we're doing tires doing tires
right um how exciting is that too tires
[ __ ] rules yeah I mean what's it like
between the second season and the first
season or is the set different cuz it
set's not different same but we yeah
we're in the same spot and um uh it's I
think it's going to be [ __ ] great I
mean the first season I didn't even know
when I agreed to do it I thought it was
going on YouTube yeah like it was like
Shane texted me there was no like agents
involved there was nothing he was like
Hey we're doing this thing they didn't
have scripts we were kind of writing
[ __ ] as we were going like I was
supposed to have a small part and we
just had like so much fun doing it they
kept like adding me it was like so fun
and we felt like we were just making a
fun web series you know what I mean like
uh cuz I loved Gillian kees was so
[ __ ] funny there sketches were so
good and and I almost was in one and
then it like fell through and so I just
wanted a chance to work with those guys
so Shane hit me up I was like I don't
need to know [ __ ] let's just [ __ ] do
it and it's insane that this thing that
we did in honestly D we did in a few
weeks and then we did like a couple days
of re-shoot and it was a [ __ ] show
that was top 10 on Netflix for like two
weeks it's insane my mom liked it yeah
yeah yeah and so and so I think I mean
we've been shooting from
I think we started in October and we end
in the middle of December and so it's
you know much more time they actually
had a real writers room they went over
the scripts we have I don't want to you
know I'm the least important I don't
want to give away too much but there's
like a bunch of cool actors in it you
play the brother right I play I'm
basically like their uh I'm basically
like are the dad the other manager no no
I'm the I'm the guy who's not in the
family basically I'm the guy who's like
it's like a family tire shop and I'm
like the kind of middle manager M who's
just kind of in the middle of it you
can't tell if I'm good at my job or not
just kind of a pig again pretty hard
role a horny idiot it was really hard
for me to get into into the character um
but it's going to be [ __ ] good man I
mean and those guys are great I mean is
it shot on sticks or is it shot like uh
the office I've seen it it's just been
probably four months since I saw it I
mean it depends but it's mostly I I
would say it's mostly handheld they have
some some you know steady shots but no
it's we have the whole crew is [ __ ]
awesome and oh it's so much fun man that
girl in it is so good KLA crushes it
well that's that's what's awesome about
like you gotta love Shane because he
legit brought his friends along yeah in
like a very Sandler way but the second
he could like Steve gerbon who is you
know so good he's the man he's the lead
but it's like they did open mics
together you know what I mean like uh
that whole crew Kyle the same thing and
and mckever who directs it is so [ __ ]
good
he's such a great director Shane's a
great actor and it's it's awesome it's
just great to see that kind of [ __ ] and
that that's funny [ __ ] and it's again
and people saying people fixing tires
yeah yeah yeah well he what this country
was founded on right right right right
right misogynous fixing
tires yes you're going to have to deal
with a little bit of misogyny but we're
going to get you back out on the road
yeah it's like you want the chassis
tightened up or not that's been the
story of our of
history but yeah I mean it's a re if
you're setting us some [ __ ] in a tire
shop that's how those [ __ ]
behave you know what I mean like you got
to be realistic about like a trans male
swimmer in there or something oh that
would be yeah we need better tires yeah
that would be good these tires ain't
tired enough on the way to the maybe
maybe on the way to the meat you know
what I mean bring them in see get the
fellas Reginald has a magic Tire yeah
yeah you're like what the [ __ ] is
happening no you need a [ __ ] all
people want is just art art to reflect
life man let's be realistic and if your
thing is set in a tire shop yeah that's
how those guys have to behave yeah I'll
watch the swimmer show yeah that's fun
and they can go do you know they can
[ __ ] talk the way they actually talk
and if you have Tire guys talk the way
they talk that's what you just need is I
think that's people just want the
reality of stuff yeah it's like um I
agree and those guys are funny as [ __ ]
my dad's a contractor those guys are
hilarious growing up around these
[ __ ] morons they're stupid as [ __ ]
and they they they they rag on each
other so much it's [ __ ] awesome it's
great and the office was set in an
office and yeah you can't really say
wild [ __ ] in an office so it it can be a
little bit more mainstream but if you're
going to do some [ __ ] in a tire in a
family-owned tire shop yeah it's like
anything goes there we're talking yeah
that is the Wild West absolutely a
family-owned like that's the Gaza Strip
of [ __ ] there's no oversight there's
no oversight no matter what no matter
how many reports the UN writes you're
not stopping that you're not stopping
the [ __ ] family-owned tire shop from
saying racist [ __ ] you just you can't do
it it's that's how it goes same thing
with diners I mean yeah you can't I
would don't let don't let a teenager
work in a Greek diner okay just don't do
it you're going to have don't let don't
let the hostess work for some guy the
evil variant of me from a different
universe that has same hair open black
polo you know what I mean you don't want
him [ __ ] you don't want him sexually
harassing the hostess you know what I
mean no well I just as long as the guy
who's making my food has has a like a
thing of toilet paper stuffed up one of
his
nostrils I don't give a [ __ ] as long as
one of the line Cooks is going through
active
withdrawals dud hey you want your egg
scrambled yeah just by his hand just
holding there with a spatula freek
restaurant same thing look there might
be some chest hair on your lamb chops
but it's going to be the best Lamb Chop
you've ever had in your life you really
want to get the [ __ ] food safety
people involved in this you want a bland
hairless Lamb Chop be my
guest God lamb huh the py of
beef I agree game me it really is kind
of you know good [ __ ] you're like what
part of the Lamb is this this is good
dude oh I love a nice [ __ ] Lamb Chop
how um how does it feel you're kind of
youve become a staple of your favorite
football team how does that kind of feel
every time that's awesome I love the
Ravens it's [ __ ] sick uh and I have a
show I have a show at the lyric uh which
is I did it last year I did a bunch of
shows this year I'm doing a couple for
the holidays it's [ __ ] nuts to go to
your F the team you grew up rooting for
and it's like they [ __ ] put me on the
Jumbotron dude you get a Big Pop I got
to [ __ ] yeah you get to I got to meet
players I get to meet what player is
that that's real fan Dan oh okay who is
uh yeah he does the r a v NES dance oh
he gets it
go yeah yeah yeah yeah I yeah the chapel
rone version Chapel Raven dude Chapel
Raven That's me
dude and yeah yeah they put this on the
Raven Instagram account the official
Ravens Instagram account let me put on
[ __ ] a helmet yeah you got to rip a
dart on there next time they wouldn't
let me they wouldn't let me mention guns
M or suboxen
yeah which is crazy also suboxen Wilson
is a player there too which is yeah
great on the edge great on the
edge not allow dude bro the Saints have
um the Saint the someone keeps tweeting
about the the pope keeps accidentally
tweeting about the New Orleans Saints
dude can you see you can find that
yeah awesome were you you were a are you
an LSU guy are you a here's who I like
I'm a Saints guy but they've been under
under delivering for the past few years
yeah and that's been um Pope Francis
keeps accidentally tweeting about the
New Orleans Saints so that's where we
are hash Saints are formed by the
Beatitudes poor Meek merciful hungering
and thirsting for justice seeking peace
okay yeah so there have some issues with
the refs yeah um yeah I think the Saint
the post went up before the Saints lost
to the ly Carolina Panthers marking
their seventh street defeat God is Not
on your side they took it out but in the
actual tweet he was showing the Saints
logo every time he hashtag
[Laughter]
Saints wow there he is right there thank
you for your prayers pontiff we need
them wow interesting but that now does
that prove there it is does that prove
the the Catholic God is Not real cuz a
tweet from Pope Francis doesn't even get
you to beat the [ __ ] Panthers that's
a good point I'd like to see you know uh
Muslim guy tweet about you I'd like to
this is a good way to see who wins yeah
yeah yeah this is how we can tell who's
right yeah each religion tweets about
the New Orleans tweeters start your
fingers and they rattle off and they
rattle off we get you see who really
gets is it Islam is it
Judaism they all get a shot they all get
a shot Catholicism Wick yeah get some
[ __ ] fat [ __ ] with black
lipstick to put a curse on your
opponent tear out a raven's heart oh
dude one time I was walking on the beach
in like Destin Florida out at night and
we like we were kids and we got to go to
the beach and I met this girl out there
pretty Ruben girl you know love that and
so she's like I want you to hold me in
the water or whatever and it was like
I'd hidden like a bottle of wine then I
told him someone in the sand earlier in
the
day so I'm out there literally digging
in the [ __ ] Sand by myself under like
probably pretty decent Moonlight right
sure [ __ ] digging in there and uh
like I'm one of those like like watching
the Grunion Run or whatever like like
I'm a pregnant Turtle trying to see how
many of your babies make it to
see literally I'm just looking for a
bottle of Zin fendel putting my hand in
and and uh then she came up and we had a
couple sips out we were talking and
stuff and she's like I want you to hold
me in the water so then we out in the
[ __ ] water dude love that kissing it
was [ __ ] ridiculous was she any
Wiccan or and she was a Wiccan yeah
interesting interesting did she do any
chants or enchantments to you no she
just said some stuff she didn't believe
in this and that and she was wicking
interesting and that she had to be
pregnant by a certain time or whatever
and you didn't oblige you're like I'm
out you want this white tail or
not I was like this Zen fendel is gotta
[ __ ] go
fendel um did you did you encounter any
like because I I think about like New
Orleans it is they have some spooky some
spooky [ __ ] any witches any like Voodoo
[ __ ] do you ever encounter any of that
stuff I stole money one time off of a
altar there and I and my life was bad
for like seven months
and swear to God I believe you here was
the crazy part I stole the money and
then use the money to buy peanut butter
M&M's
right hexed for peanut butter M&M's and
so that was horrible and I finally and I
I was on the road for a while and then I
finally got back home and I put the I
went and put twice as much money back
and it was all good after that but we
grew up there was a lot of pro like uh
those like uh snake [ __ ] Protestants
you know sure sure sure sure now hold on
what kind of alar and where was this
altar this was in the French Quarter
outs like on the edge of the French
Quarter gotcha and it was just kind of
out there yeah they just had a thing put
together and it's interesting how many
different type because Greek people have
like when somebody we have like the kind
of like a little altar for like your
past loved ones and if you think about
it it is even though we're Greek
Orthodox that's so clearly like a
a pagan ritual you put a little altar
for the for the deceased that's not in
like Christianity anywhere just you know
but I wonder well I wonder if there we
should spend more time communicating
with the deceased you know like helping
reli you know is there anything that
they need to tell us it's like we're
just like [ __ ] be you know like once
they clock out we're like you are off
the [ __ ] yeah we're going to
mangianos having some pasta in your
memory and that's it yeah they just like
cuz the Mexicans do that every year they
let you they let all the you know let
them out for one one last Fiesta yeah
like on Ms 31st or whatever Halloween
night they let all of like the family
members come back you know you ever see
Coco the movie about that uh yeah I
think Joey Diaz is oh no that's I'm
thinking
of Joey Diaz is in Coco I thought he was
in
it that's awesome [ __ ] tremendous you
got to deal with your generational
trauma you [ __ ]
sucker stop the Bing on your grandfather
to said to turn your life around that's
awesome I think I did try to watch this
on a plane or whatever this legitimately
destroyed me when I saw it what happened
was so me and my brothers um we had a
tradition where we would uh take some
kind of hallucinogenic whatever big like
uh Hollywood release was out that you
know like a big fun action movie or like
like Star the first the first time we
did it was the new Star Wars prequels
where it was like we didn't give a [ __ ]
about Star Wars that much but yeah you
take some [ __ ] acid you watch Star
Wars it's going to be [ __ ] awesome so
we would do that on Christmas or around
Christmas fight your
stepfather yeah yeah you really you
really will actually you will it did
cause some issues there [ __ ] surprise
attack with a catalytic converter out
there boy I'm [ __ ] oh so yeah we did
that and then one year we were going to
it was Aquaman was coming out oh yeah
forgot to buy [ __ ] tickets ahead of
time thought for sure there's no way you
know Aquaman's gonna be sold out and
then we forget so it's sold out we get
there I'm already on assd oh my God and
we're like all right let's just get back
to the house ASAP we're all [ __ ] ond
we didn't have we couldn't so then my
brother's like um Coco is pretty like
colorful this could be fun dude it's a
story all about family de like my best
friend's mom had just died we were like
it's a story all about like family
and and dude I'm just tripping my nuts
off just stoping and being like dude I
thought I was going to watch Jason mimoa
fight a [ __ ] punch of fish in the
head and now I'm thinking about my dead
grandparents and if they're proud of me
or
not it was so [ __ ] up dude wow and
then my brother I was like sobbing so
much afterwards my brother's like all
right man and he just put on Thor
Ragnarok for me to just [ __ ] calm
down like like I was a [ __ ] baby you
got like here's your [ __ ] dumb movie
cuz I would watch that on acid a bunch
that was a fun thing I would do he put
on windy weather foot on on YouTube yeah
he puts on softcore pornography with
huge tted women he's like here you go
buddy your favorite stuff girl Wendy
weao is a children's oh no sorry I I was
just thinking I don't know what Wendy
weather foot is I was just going into
stuff I liked Yeah Wendy weaf foot is a
nature-based animation series on
YouTube if you like children in nature
you might like it right that would have
been a better thing to calm me down yeah
but yeah it was [ __ ] up how much cocoa
on acid when I was not emotionally ready
to deal with it how [ __ ] destroyed me
dude destroyed me but you know acid is
just such a wild thing that they make
yeah cuz first you're like you're
telling me this little bitty square of
paper isn't going to do [ __ ] is going to
remodel the way
I experience the world completely [ __ ]
my brain up is going to make me hide
behind the c your
yard and cry about what how your parents
met each
other I don't know God dude same thing
last the last one we did was Avatar and
I literally was [ __ ] crying at that
too but that was more like the movie was
affecting me I was like oh [ __ ] dude the
[ __ ] little guy's GNA die I was
[ __ ] crying and like moments before I
was laughing at what a stupid movie it
was and then they kill a character I'm
like oh he's [ __ ] dead bro my
brothers were just laughing at me they
weren't as [ __ ] up as I was just just
the attendant is just shining a
flashlight right in your eyes you give
him your license that's when you're
[ __ ] up at the movies yeah you give
your you hand the guy your driver's
license guy just shining a light on you
oh dude I've been watching all those
like around the holidays I'll start
watching a lot of those um military
people come home videos o that's that'll
[ __ ] do it to you for sure surprise
at the school while we look for that one
more time I was on asset at the movies
um I was the people in the theater
thought I was a special need because I
was what was it what gave it or what
gave them the impression I was again on
I was actually on mushrooms and acid at
the time and it was a packed one and B
you know you you familiar with Babu
frick he's a little Star Wars guy he's a
little Star Wars Muppet okay and every
time Babu frig would come on I would be
like yeah would be so happy cuz I was so
on assd I was so that I kind of returned
to being a [ __ ] baby and so he was
just a cute little Muppet guy and every
time he'd come on I'd be like yeah
B I couldn't stop laughing and people
were mad and then they looked at me and
then I saw I saw them be like like their
faces soften because they go this guy's
special needs there's like there's no
way they thought I was like some
teenager they just looked around it's
like there's no way a man this old and
fat is not special needs if he's
reacting to Babu freck this way and then
and they looked at my brother my
brother's like sorry and they were like
oh no it's
fine dude I
uh I don't even know what to say now
some memorable acid you're not acid on
movies me and my buddy well I've told
this story recently this just one that I
remember but we uh we went to the Waffle
House in our town right and we got there
at like in the morning and there
was a
gay um or there was a a homosexual Urban
male in their waiter right we've never
seen a gay black guy right wow how old
were you we were probably 14 right okay
that's big yeah it was big dude we're
very excited that's some of the funnest
that's one of the funnest type of guys
in the world oh we're were so high dude
and we're so we're so high that all we
could do is [ __ ] laugh on
hallucinogenics or just we taking some
LSD cool and so we went there cuz it was
open it's the only place that had lights
out where you could be somewhere and be
young and not have to as long as you
were buying food you had a legal reason
to be there I'm legally here for
breakfast right well we started laughing
so hard may I use the hash browns
defense i' like to enter the hash browns
defense sorry go ahead no it's uh so you
guys are [ __ ] up oh and we're so
[ __ ] up my buddy starts laughing so
hard and starts [ __ ] choking he's
laughing so hard the guy the wiow starts
giving him the
[ __ ] maneuver dude so there's a bro I
laugh I F my that's I mean that would
destroy me my body was coming out of my
[ __ ] body dude I was doing like this
I was like and my buddy just getting
[ __ ] remodled by this breakfast
brother dude just [ __ ] reshaping him
bro smothered him [ __ ] and what style
of gay guy are we talking does he have
like eyeliner strong small but strong
yeah small but strong like um just
posture and the way he talks what do you
mean his words had flare on but didn't
need to have it on right right that's
not mandated by he had so much on you
almost thought he was like one of those
people that blows up the balloons or
whatever like what is this guy yeah he's
selling them he's like he's like yeah
blow up some breakfast yeah he's being
fun yeah being fun great attitude great
God great attitude saved your friend's
life yeah I went to SNL the other night
too that was pretty cool when saw bur
[ __ ] yes dude aesol it was cool just to
be there you you ever been there I've
never been there no I want to go and I
have I mean I have friends who are on
the show now and like it would be cool
to go but I just you know always
traveling never he Saturday it's a hard
night to to be they'll probably ask you
to do it this year I bet no I don't
think so I'd love to but I I would
absolutely love to yeah I mean I don't
want to [ __ ] you know it seems like
because I have friends who were on the
show and it's like seems like a hard job
that's the thing we as as much as
stressful as it is to like have to put
out [ __ ] constantly and be touring like
you're still Your Own Boss I can't
imagine as that's a great you know
that's a huge comedy show that people
still watch but you're somebody's
[ __ ] employee yeah I can't imagine
doing that anymore dude even if it's a
cool [ __ ] job just being worried
about my performance at work I can't do
that [ __ ] dude that's [ __ ] crazy but
I would love to it's a dream to host it
but if I yeah that's why I say like I'm
a uh
I work for myself and I'm a hard person
to work
for yeah absolutely I'm My Own Boss and
my boss is a [ __ ] idiot and my boss
is an [ __ ] my boss is an [ __ ] he's
a [ __ ] yeah he's a closeted
homosexual as well hey that's a
lot
okay if I saw you in
Houston if your name is Mark and we
hooked up in Houston hold on guys let me
start over Sor you can't help
it the dad
just God that was
so but I had to play in the dark and
that was a challenge I remember that
that's good for your understanding of
the fretboard yeah you know it's more
intive it's more uh yeah SN know was it
was cool to see well bur B Bill bir
dropped into a lot of the characters he
like the acting part where you're like
doing the characters he did a really
great job he a good actor man yeah he
really like try you know it's like cuz
some of it it was like kind of you would
think it's a little little cheesy or
whatever but he like you know you got to
commit you're there you know what I mean
like sketch comedy in general is a
little is a little cheesy but if you're
going to do it you got to [ __ ] do it
you know what I mean it was cool McGee
played H yeah um that was pretty dope
I'm trying to think of what else
happened any he uh go to the after part
or anything like that I didn't go yeah I
heard that it's interesting they line up
like limos and people all from the show
go get in the limos and they're just
waiting outside and it takes everybody
to the Afterparty interesting so a show
of force it's kind of like how nor Korea
has a bunch of tanks and stuff SNL's
like we got 12 limos yeah don't [ __ ]
with us we're going got what we we got
12 limos going to the Dave Busters in
Time Square yeah
yeah and all of our drivers are addicted
to porn if you're in North Korea you see
that that's awesome dude salute to those
guys that they made a big mistake once
once someone gets a little taste of
pornography you tell me they're going to
go back to no porn this could
legitimately lead to the toppling of the
North Korean regime little Dabble dude
North Korea soldiers in Russia gain
internet access view lwd
videos this is from Ukrainian world
congress.org where the [ __ ] are you
getting your news man huh the same place
everybody isan world congress.org what
the [ __ ] this is a website we made a
half hour
ago this is all news now it's whatever
you want it to be a usually reliable
Source this is from this
article tells me that the North Korean
soldiers who have deployed to Russia
have never had unfettered access to the
internet before as a result they're
gorging on on pornography that's awesome
gorging is crazy gorging mean the equip
what's gorging like the equivalent of
cuz I've gorged on food yeah prob mouth
open use couple of phones going at
once I don't think it's their best
soldiers I think they're sending
Expendable guys there's no way Kim
Jong-un is sending his best Bo out there
they're sending he might want to get the
the [ __ ] out of his ranks he
might have sent the [ __ ] out
100% let's zoom in on a coule can I just
say he looks awesome look at that fit
bro wow I want to dress like that for
real you can do that man I need those
pants I need that [ __ ] leather jacket
is that goat leather yeah yeah where do
they get it from it's shiny he's looking
awesome oh he looks great I think
especially over the years um he's really
figured his Lookout mhm he's coming he's
come into his own they say he gets
massages every day and you interesting
and facials too I'd love that I would
love to live like that I would love look
how high the one dude is on poring right
above your cursor to the right zoom in
on that guy right there right there just
zoom in on that guy right there there we
go I can't go any I oh you can't sorry
enhance let's get a shot of that guy um
the hats are pretty the hats pry High
great
hats I've watched that much porn
before or one of my ears turned really
red d That's crazy man yeah that's a lot
cuz he's lost all the blood from that
ear and it's gone translucent cuz that's
all pump into his [ __ ] that's all being
used brother all non-essential blood is
being redirected to your dick when you
see porn for the first time in 40 years
oh dude I remember at school when I
would have to take tests I would [ __ ]
tie my legs off like this to keep the
blood like up by my brain oh so I'd be
able to have more um oxygen in my brain
help me think that's where did you find
out about that who told you about that
was that just you know what I mean good
idea just good idea did it work yeah
pretty good pretty good student you know
love that dude yeah it was fun man it's
being aive back then [ __ ] beautiful
leg skin oh yeah leg skin looking like
these days you don't really show off the
Gams too much I don't that much yeah I
mean I put my way today that's not bad
you know that's not bad I mean yeah I'm
yeah they won't be in Westminster but
you know they won't be in the dog
show but I do s I think if I get in the
gym for a couple weeks I'll show them
you know please do I will thank you man
but see that's the thing that's a
blessing of being a foundational man man
yeah yeah we got some thick and I'm even
hiding the calves too I what what
bothers me is i' love I'm a little too
milky white up here oh you got those
Force Five walls right there baby those
things are category three yeah oh yeah
you could hang out D you could hide two
[ __ ] behind that you could you could
you could take shelter behind my calves
no problem I would love that yeah dude
what else is happening man anything else
want to talk
about police uh seized a goat from an
11y old girl and she won a $300,000
settlement what is up with cops taking
[ __ ] animals dude yeah something
happened with a m s squirrel too huh I
don't understand why people are [ __ ]
it's just like bureaucrat like who gives
a [ __ ] and good for this girl she won
300K now I don't know all the facts
hopefully this goat wasn't biting
people's dicks off or
whatever it turns out the goat was a
[ __ ] piece of [ __ ] but if he was just
a nice little goat Vanessa
Shakib yeah it's tough to know um the
goat was seized by sheriffs go back to
the top a little bit sheriff's deputies
in 2022 while living at a North Carolina
Farm and was later slaughtered why did
did they eat him as outlining court
documents you can't slaughter a goat for
no reason for no reason I agree no not
for no [ __ ] reason cops like nah
we're getting this guy out of
here and the Goat just
like yeah the the sheriff's debut did
nothing than enforce the law yeah right
I who knows if this is even right and
then they got this squirrel or whatever
he did something some dumb [ __ ]
snitched they shouldn't have killed
peanut but the [ __ ] who snitched is
obviously the biggest villain in here
but also the cops overstepping cops love
killing a [ __ ] animal when they can
man they do they'll shoot people's dogs
for no reason they just [ __ ] like
killing [ __ ] like them down it's just a
[ __ ] par yeah yeah he had a gun yeah
the the Barrett had a
gun oh man what do you think of the
world right now things feel okay now to
you are you scared cuz I know there's
the there's the the election right yes
do you what are people truly scared of
do you think when they talk about Trump
cuz but what is it I kind of start to
wonder what do people be scared of I can
tell you right I mean the thing so for
me you know I didn't love either
candidate here um I didn't I really
didn't understand being enthusiastic
about either candidate um I think you
know I'm not a trump guy obviously I
think he he is dangerous and the things
that I'm scared of the most and the
thing that made me that made me lean
towards kamla was more than anything was
the Supreme Court and that um it would
be if it's put under like far right
control for the next however long we've
already seen you know women's right to
you know over their bodies the the
abortion you know roie Way's been
overturned which I think is really
dangerous that's going to like really
affect Women's Health Care uh already in
states that banned it you see they're
getting less just general OBGYN care
because it's more dangerous to be a
doctor in those States so we don't think
about [ __ ] that trickles down so like
it's harder to get just general Health
Care let alone abortion in Texas now for
women and that's only going to get
harder in rural States and I think for
me that was the number one issue that's
really [ __ ] scary to me well
especially with the Border being open
they're letting rapist in it's
[ __ ] you know what I'm saying though
it's like you're just yeah well yeah I
mean I don't know if it's the best time
to repeal that yeah yeah yeah if we're
going to follow your logic and you claim
they got rapists coming in maybe we
should also keep abortion but you know I
think we got of homegrown rapists too
but you know we've got our own
sure we've got some some heirloom
American rapists for sure um Jesus
Christ but I think I think that's my the
number one thing that scares me is about
that because it's not only that's the
first step and I think you can really
see stuff that we take for granted is
progress gay marriage is another thing
there's a really weird cultural I think
this is what happens
anytime uh the party that's backed by
the you know the powers that be big
business the rich PE the richest people
in the world want farri politicians and
I think if think still absolutely
without question I feel like Tech is now
I I just feel like the part is is a was
the huge is a huge Trump guy that's a
good point I think rich people have will
support whoever's in power number one
but they want to transfer wealth from
the poor to the rich they've been really
good at doing it the biggest issue I
think the reason the Democrats lost is
because
they pretend that there is no problem
that it's like that's [ __ ] crazy you
have to tell people that yes there are
issues here [ __ ] is more expensive I
think inflation I think a big a big part
of inflation is that companies realize
they can just charge you more and say
it's somebody else's fault a lot of it's
price gouging that's you know that's
[ __ ] true and the but you should
everything get so much more expensive ex
be and companies are some of it is just
real inflation but some of it is
companies are hiding behind in infation
and like there was no Democrats did
nothing to stop price gouging right they
didn't even say they were going to do it
that um you can't tell people that
things are going good when they're just
clearly not and there were just no it
sucks because they offered the
Democratic part has become like they
were going after [ __ ] Dick Cheney and
Fu who was like so bizarre it's crazy
because they're going after policy-wise
Mo you know moderates Republican
Republican people who most working-class
people don't agree with uh the economic
stuff that they're saying and then
culturally it's not it bothers me when
you become a a a party of like
tattletales it's like it's become a
party of like middle managers that want
to get mad at you if you say the wrong
thing and it's like that's not [ __ ]
that's not the most important issue the
most important issue for people is that
things are [ __ ] more they have no
Health Care uh wage inequality is out of
[ __ ] control we're not the people's
wages have not kept pace with how much
bosses are earning yeah well what
percent I mean Bernie Sanders said
greatly that he thought if AI starts to
happen for companies right so companies
are making more money because of AI
because they don't need people yeah
right then some of that money should go
to the employees of course as opposed
and cutting cut down their hours for the
week now you give them a better life
instead of just making it where well
[ __ ] well we don't need you anymore yeah
you know so you don't get anything and
we keep all the [ __ ] profits and I do
think I mean think we talked about a
little bit last time where it's like AI
is a tool to [ __ ] do creative [ __ ] is
it's so weird when it's like it should
be making normal people's lives easier
it shouldn't just be for rich people to
be able to charge less like you there
should be some protections for workers
and we should be able to like you know
you should be able to [ __ ] buy a
house all these [ __ ] regular issues
that weren't really hit on it was just
well you got to vote for us cuz the
other person's worse and even though I
think that is true that's not a winning
message that's nothing especially when
the other side is offering they're at
least saying shit's bad well and they're
saying it's for the wrong reasons I
don't think it's immigrants fault it's
definitely not fucking's people aren't
the people buying up houses and not
letting you buy it you know what I mean
like I don't but at least they're saying
something's wrong and they're saying
some [ __ ] up [ __ ] in my opinion
they're trying to make it culture War
stuff they're trying to divide people
who should be on the same side by saying
uh oh gay people bad people are bad when
it's like the people trying to [ __ ] you
are rich people that's how it's always
been that's that's the [ __ ] that's
that's a tail as old as time like and
it's weird some people think they're
going to be [ __ ] billionaires when
they're when it's like they don't make
off crypto or whatever they're like well
when I'm that rich I don't want to be
taxed and it's like you [ __ ] don't
you live in you're you're sharing a loft
bedroom with your dad friend's dad who's
taking dick pills you don't have to
worry about [ __ ] tax rates going up
don't bet on yeah bet on yourself now
bet on yourself right now man how about
how about we raise some of some [ __ ]
some taxes on the on the richest people
and you get some [ __ ] Health Care it
just I don't know man I just maybe I
shouldn't have ADD it's a lot it's a lot
just it's frustrating because I that but
even having said all that I think what
people are scared of the most with Trump
is just yeah man the Supreme Court being
taken over by like um ideologically
really right-wing cuz now the Senate is
rep repan and there's like you know
taken over by that that's scary that is
scary to me because we could see a lot
of stuff rolled back that is that we we
take for granted as fundamental and
stuff that's just progress we can argue
over like you know economic issues
whatever but some of those things that
does scare me when it's like gay like
women's rights be so wild if you got
groups in there that were like you can't
do gay anymore yeah yeah we're re we're
taking away gay Mar whatever but then
you'd have all the gay have to 10 or
straight again or whatever yeah yeah
back in the closet boys like a come on I
just threw away all my straight I just
threw away all my Dockers what are
youing I just away all my [ __ ] plaid
shirts just [ __ ] burned all my Doc
Martin and just lay in bed holding my
high school
girlfriend what are you gay guys and
lesbians have to get married
again and then [ __ ] other [ __ ] on the
side hey you know what there was
something Admiral about those days
though look you got you got I respect
getting a nut anyway against the against
everything well just the hard work just
the you know the effort that people put
into being gay sure whereas now some
dude just like all day being
gay just Wily [ __ ] neilly just
burning the gay candle at both end y yep
doing pilat he's the only guy in the
class which was the gayest thing you do
I used to have a gay roommate for about
four months and he would chew gum in his
[ __ ] sleep and I was like what is
going on he have a defined jawline he
was a figure skater he could jump over a
Toyota tcel the front wow just the front
yeah side to side couldn't go that's
insane he jump literally at an angle and
kind of oh he do the spin the axle it
was crazy that's awesome he could axle
over F yeah where where' you meet him we
met him um we were shopping my buddy and
I were shopping for firewood and we met
him at a v one afternoon we just moved
to Los Angeles he was doing tricks in
the parking lot yeah just doing that
[ __ ] Pio just your budd's like hey
pal ease off the tcell I just I just got
rid of the Mitsubishi I can turn this
[ __ ] car off the last thing I need is
a gay heel going through my
windshield yeah I tone it down huh tone
it down hey just buff he's just buffing
it with his feet as he passes
over well I do think some things that uh
I do I will say this though also Donald
Trump C pain harder mhm than [ __ ]
anyone for a 78-year-old man yeah it's
unbelievable yeah I mean I think he
loves the attention of age you know what
I mean but to even do it dude like I
just can't even believe I mean that like
blew my mind just how um how much he
could do you know I think that's his
favorite part though you saw him he was
a he was electric on the [ __ ] mic bro
he loves he loves getting he loves
crushing dude he's like he loves getting
in front of this crowd just [ __ ]
riffing like I dude you think that
[ __ ] wants to be in meetings or
you think he wants to be talking to the
nek boys about how he used to get [ __ ]
in the 80s or whatever the [ __ ] he was
doing like that's the part he likes he
doesn't want to listen to [ __ ]
reports about [ __ ] stats and numbers
and [ __ ] no he wants to eat a Big Mac
drink a Diet Coke and go on busing with
the boys he's like parah
faet oh yeah yeah yeah cut the mics let
me tell tell you a little something
Suzanne Summers yeah yeah funnest I will
say I think one of the funniest guys
that's ever had though entertaining
without question that's the thing I'm
not going to sit here and tell you he's
not [ __ ] he's funny as [ __ ] which is
I think why things are so that's why he
was able to sneak through if somebody
was saying the exact same [ __ ] with no
humor at all it would be horrifying it
would it would be it's [ __ ] he says
insane [ __ ] and but it's funny as [ __ ]
and he seems gay he's a New York gay guy
who happens to be straight I guess well
he be I mean come on he's his mannerisms
his little pursing of the he behaves
like a gay guy is what I'm saying he's
got Queen he's a he's a he's he seems
like a gay guy from
Queens he's from Queens he has like that
little him in que [ __ ] spray tan no
he's from Queens oh he is yeah yeah yeah
yeah spray tan he I'm saying I don't
think he's gay but he does have gay
mannerisms okay well this isn't dude
doing this doing this like his little
[ __ ] where the gays for Trump that
was the best like where are they they're
here yeah yeah couple gays for Trump
where the squirrels for Trump they here
look at them where's my
africanamerican blacks for Trump where
two of them right there let them loose
let them loose
Guys somebody Whispers in his ear uh
good to see you boys har Tubman's
here dude the best was he brought up
Nicki Jam he thought it was a a woman
she's like Nicki Jam is here beautiful
and it's a [ __ ] dude some dude off
Instagram Nam Nicki Jam some dude with a
mouth full of Zen rolls up there just
[ __ ] spit and stay awake juice into
the [ __ ] audience no he's so F but
that that like I'm not going to sit here
and tell you the guy he's so [ __ ]
funny I we like I but so it's a court so
that's one thing that because I I just
hear that a lot people like I'm so
scared what are you [ __ ] like that's
a part I just never believe the
government's going to affect my life
that much I agree with you the Pres the
presidential the president doesn't have
that much power uh and if it wasn't for
the Supreme Court I would be like who
really gives a [ __ ] the Democrats didn't
run any kind of coherent campaign they
don't want to I I hope I hope this will
make because look I my politics are
further left than that I'm not a
Democrat registered Bernie is the only
guy I liked in a long time because I
thought he was the only human being who
was like a real in person of Integrity I
think Donald Trump just is a the idea
that he's different from politicians is
crazy he's a rich guy who had you know
he grew up rich he's a class president
for sure Ty yeah and it's like his dad
you know he was like a his dad was a
[ __ ] slum Lord he's just a rich guy
who's [ __ ] over people on deals
forever he's I don't like I you know I
have class issues right I don't I tend
to not trust Super Rich guys and and I
don't see how he's going to do anything
different I think it's naive to think
he's going to be different than I
understand not trusting the Democratic
establishment but it's like to me
Trump's funny but he is he's a [ __ ]
billionaire propped up by other
billionaires that's I think he's part of
just the the complex that runs our
country and I don't think he's any
different right the only person that I
like it's going to be a challenge to see
if he is like I mean it'll think you
know he was already that's the other
weird thing he was already we're talking
about him like he's the shaking up Force
he was already [ __ ] president he it's
not he's not new that's what's weird
that both of them were that was a foul
hit both of them had it was like and K's
like it'll be different like let's
[ __ ] I know go home and make it
different right now and that's why
absolutely you're in off you're in power
right now do something God knows Joe
ain't doing [ __ ] that guy's been having
ice cream for six months I know and they
pretended and when they that's what
that's what lost me as as a Democrat
when they that's when they lost me was
when they lied about when they just I
just didn't like the way they treated
that old man you know it's not [ __ ]
cool cuz he believes he's doing great
totally so he wakes up every day he's
listening to the music he's [ __ ]
riding for his bike he's looking for
[ __ ] yeah what are they doing here
he's looking awesome honestly dude is
this the end of Amazing
Race To
Heaven it looks like he's just about to
finish a [ __ ] Marathon but he just
got out of his car and they're still
pretending every day he's a they they
just told him the other day he's the
[ __ ] mayor of Wisconsin and he's like
and they're giving him un chees Cur yeah
unlimited ice cream and milk well and
that's why I agree with you I think it
they made a [ __ ] huge mistake [ __ ]
bizarre this running him again like when
he ran the first time it's like I get it
people were scared of another thing of
trump so like put some [ __ ] you know
put some middle of the road ass Democrat
but then they should have had an Open
Primary like a railroaded thing people
could actually vote on the issues they
care about and they just didn't do that
and and she even had an opportunity to
if she came out with any [ __ ] um you
know I'm just pissed off she didn't
release any new music there yeah there
was nothing new it was all B remixes and
nobody likes Biden yeah and you can't
just hit and she Tred to go after blacks
with a mixtape you got a [ __ ] little
production yeah it was she dropped a lot
of diss tracks yeah but no yeah nothing
you no yeah just didn't hit but look man
I think it's just crazy how um I don't
know it'll be interesting it's a lot of
pressure to see I'm I'm most excited
about RFK and uh JD Vance was super cool
when he came on the podcast he's a human
Trump's hard to get to know I don't know
that JD to me he seems like a
traditional just say whatever it takes
to get elected snake to be honest with
you I know you know you had him on he
was cool here but he was a guy who said
he hated Trump he said some [ __ ] up
[ __ ] about women like I just think he's
a f and venture capitalist guys are
[ __ ] worms to begin with I don't
trust JD Vance at all I think he's a
piece of [ __ ] also so yeah yeah yeah I
mean just I think he's a cut in the fu
regular ass Republican that'll say any
[ __ ] [ __ ] up thing to to get into
Power he sucked Trump's [ __ ] after
saying he was he called him Hitler or
whatever and he he made a complete turn
when he realized it was politically
advantageous to be on Trump's side I
think he also is just a run-of-the-mill
piece of [ __ ] politician like I just do
and that's I think all politicians is a
weird thing to be right of but that's
what I'm saying that's what I'm saying
is like I've never been excited about
the politics I've been excited about was
Obama when I was 18 I voted for Obama
and I think he did have a real
opportunity to do something and it
turned out he didn't really do [ __ ] and
then and then he did yeah and it but
that's the foul that's the thing that
always happens yeah at least that was
something that was like and I think part
of that was Obama was just too
inexperienced I think if he had a little
more you know he didn't know what he was
doing with the Senate his the healthcare
thing got completely [ __ ] and
universal healthcare care it was bad it
was they didn't they they ended up some
cups I still have some a set of Cups
they sent me nice dude you got you got a
mug that's the yeah no it's like kind of
like some plastic cups of but I still
use
them but he got worked over by thinking
he could um
actually uh you know find common ground
with the Republicans they should have
just rammed the legislation down their
throat they had both both houses at the
time anyway whatever yeah the and the
only person I I was excited about was
Bernie because I think he was actually
in that run in 2016 he was like he would
have been cool would have been cool but
the Democrats shut that [ __ ] down I hey
man well one I I like Vance as a guy
seemed like a nice guy I know that like
like he's like you know they say like
Peter teal is like the guy that got him
in office that sort of thing but then
you start to see that all these guys
have backers will things be different
with some of these guys I don't know I
think but one thing that's cool is that
we both like Bernie I like Bernie too I
would have voted for Bernie see that's
the is I think those ideas unite people
because he's just saying like look we
have issues to deal with There's real
issues we're not going to pretend shit's
good when it's not and let's find real
ways to do it that everybody gets and
every that's real equality he wants to
help everyone because it's not about
it's not it's not a [ __ ] it's not
about like you know cultural [ __ ] it's
about economic [ __ ] and more people are
disaffected because of the you know
people at the top and I think that's a
message that
everyone can agree with and I think when
when people aren't looking at things
ideologically if you just ask them about
issues people agree on a lot of [ __ ]
issues they want to be able to [ __ ]
buy a house they want to be able to
afford [ __ ] and they want to be able to
[ __ ] you know get healthare how many
people do we know like I have you know I
know people extended extended family
stuff like that that are struggling off
[ __ ] that they shouldn't cuz somebody
got sick and it derails your whole
[ __ ] family we talk about that all
the time it's [ __ ] up dude the number
one calls of I mean we say say this all
the time now because it's one of the few
facts I know but the number one cause of
bankruptcy in America is medical debt
crazy and so it's a [ __ ] the whole
system is a money laundering scam and I
don't know why that hasn't changed and
if you would think at some point one of
these [ __ ] groups would be able to
change the [ __ ] you know it's I mean
there is so much money in politics and I
was right but it's just the it's so
people are so fed up with the [ __ ]
system I I just you almost want there to
be a war to end it all or whatever I
know what you mean man I do know what
you mean and some people do believe that
some people think there's no way
something has to change cuz this is not
changing over time right yeah some
people believe Revolution is the only
way to [ __ ] do it re hey Tony tried
to start
one that was the main reason cop like
Shane said it too on his podcast it
would have been so funny to be able to
blame
Tony one it would just be a like you
bombed so hard that that the part your
candidate [ __ ] lost
how fun would that be to tell Tony for
the rest of his
life that's actually the thing I'm most
pissed off about Supreme Court is number
two after being able to mock Tony for
the rest of my life that's what that's
what I regret the most about the
election oh he was sweating I sat there
and watched it with
him he was sweating man I think we could
I I know that we could do better in this
country about um being making useful
things I was just looking the other day
in Japan is it in Japan where they have
the the sidewalks turn power a [ __ ]
building you're walking by them the
[ __ ] building's powered by people
walking on that's [ __ ] cool yeah our
infrastructure is so [ __ ] too it's
like our trains don't even work
highspeed rail we need like dude our
trains if you're on a train the other
day it got robbed by a bunch of people
on
Horseback like the is getting the
[ __ ] the 310 theuma
treatment it's unreal dude you go to the
Post Office you go in there you're like
yeah I'm looking for this package you
give a piece of paper the guy comes back
2 days later and asks you who the [ __ ]
you are right like where have you
been I know dude what is even going on
it's [ __ ] crazy it's crazy it's
falling around dude yeah but it's like
meanwhile we have all these homeless
people wandering around town if you put
them all in an area and set up one of
these cuz this Flor and Japan turns
footsteps into electricity play a bit of
it there so you you're thinking in Japan
even walking gener
electricity Tokyo Metro like voice in
the world the TR electric technology and
expl to convert the energy yeah I mean
but if you can get 50 or 70 homeless
people to power a Jamba Juice or
something you know agree with you dude
how [ __ ] great would that be they
come out they dance for 12 minutes or
whatever and Bam the [ __ ] it's
exercise for them it's good electricity
the blender's cut on in there and they
get a free smoothie for their trouble
what are we T but instead everybody's
like they need p bills you know it's
like [ __ ] that's a perfect example
though of homelessness it's like give
them homes yeah we have the ab we know
what it takes like make [ __ ]
apartment buildings and like that has
been shown to work and most people just
don't have access but there is all this
weird like you we'll create nonprofits
to to help the homeless that cost more
than just getting them little apart give
them recipe
books yeah yeah and they'll just keep
busting them back and forth he's like
it's basically political parties play
Red Rover with them I know what they
should do is is instead of busting them
sign them up for Southwest miles and
then they get some [ __ ] miles out of
it give them a Southwest credit card
every time you ship them from Texas to
New York to [ __ ] wherever the [ __ ]
and then they can go on vacation you
know they can earn some to cough about
the cabin some gu just hacking up a
[ __ ] dead Sparrow in his throat and I
only say that cuz I was in Frisco one
time my guy threw a [ __ ] bird at me
for no reason oh my God it was a sparrow
it uh it was small enough small enough
it could have been a um a warbler but
I'm going to get him back we'll see you
put an air tag in his in his bindle and
you're tracking him you're going to get
him back every time I close my eyes I
still see what he looks like you know
that's horrifying I Birds to me are
unsettling creatures to have one thrown
at you is very tough the the dirtiest
surprise yeah
listen a new movie let's start a c out
on VOD right now go to Apple Amazon
wherever you like to rent video uh
movies go check it out please I'm
begging you we got the calendar we have
a new tour coming out the Dreamboat tour
and yeah I really appreciate you having
me on dude it's always so fun this is my
favorite podcast to do it's so much
[ __ ] fun dud I love it you're the
best so much man I'm come back in
December so I can do yours in please
yeah would love to have remember I
didn't even know you were the guy from
ctown that I like was so fun dude you're
like I met that guy I was like it was me
dude that's crazy dude but I love that
that's awesome would it be yeah we'll
[ __ ] play some clap D I'll have you
play a little guitar while I get my dick
suck it'll be like old times dude just
take those old records off the sh thank
you s you're the man now I'm just
floating on the and I I'm like these
leaves I must be Cornerstone
oh but when I reach that ground I'll
share this piece of mind I found I can
feel it in my
[Music]
